Both parents going to work means trying to be in full control schedule 7/24. This means everything has to be done on time just like in prison and in a hurry every single working day. We do have our schedule in our house everyday like eating, bathing and nap/sleep times for NR but it varies on day today basis depending on his mood. He is going to have regimented life starting from school till he is going to retire and I want him to feel free at home at this age. As a family we cannot lead a day to day life filled with outburst, anger or stress. Anger never goes well with CB, me or NR. We are quiet laid back couples and I am not sure if changing my status from SAHM to WM will go well right at this phase in our life.
I never consider myself a feminist but if feminism means having complete financial independence and not depending on your spouse then I am a hard-core feminist. I started working when I turned twenty-three. From that time onwards I ‘ve been living off my salary and never bothered my parents financially. The same rule applies to my husband too. Last two and half years since I resigned my well-paying corporate job I’ve spent considerable portion of my savings/investments to support my financial needs/lifestyles. The money spent could have bought us a decent apartment in our home town. But I believe that money saved should come in handy in times of need. And I believe the need is “now” than during my retirement. I love to be primary care provider for my son. My husband is happy to provide for us during my current “mid life retirement” phase. I don’t bother him with my personal financial needs. And my financial life style hasn’t changed because I am SAHM.
Even after living in US for decade plus years, I am not impressed by the concept of having a crazy stressed life during the week and going out during the weekends or penny pinching on essential life style choices and then taking expensive vacations, or trying to save crazy for retirement. Quality of life matters to us. If we spend our life time going thru a stressed /busy life, I am not sure if we will be happy during our retirement.
But when we face uncertainty in job market or gets calls weekly from recruiting firms/ex-colleagues, the “working me" gets tempted to resume work. But given a choice I would rather live in a single bed room apt than go back to work leaving NR in a day care now.
We do have an easy option of going back to India. These days I fantasize about taking a break from this western life style and going back to India and living with our parents till NR goes to school. Yes, I fantasize about such simple pleasure in life. If I put my foot down, I can live in my fantasy world even next month but some personal situation is making me to think otherwise.
I am tempting my husband to take his “mid life retirement" for a short time and live a quiet relaxed life in India till our son goes to school.
Edited to Add: I wrote and scheduled this post last friday when my husband had 3 days of vacation plus a weekend to spend with us. Though NR had fever till thursday, I had a relaxed schedule each day with CB taking care of NR . We ate restaurant food when I skipped cooking. Last week events made me think about life I will have in India with cook, maid and a driver. Sigh .
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