Living and raising a child in a country which is totally different from my culture and upbringing poses many challenges. I've realised that raising a child in US is dominated by fear factor unlike in India everything is taken casually .
From pregnancy to birth we handled many challenging situation all alone as a couple and continuing to do so. We have handled many difficult situations and I am still paranoid like a new mother at times. Most of the time, I make a decision based on what I saw/experienced growing up in India. My mothering is mostly influenced by my ammuma. She was an affectionate and a kind woman who never for a minute complained about her old age when it came to raising her grand-daughter. I was the one and only fortunate soul raised by my maternal grand parents.
I try to exercise the kindness and patience with my son just like my grand mom but at times I stray away from path mostly because of tiredness. I tried to get answers how to handle certain situation just by recollecting my memories at ammuma house. I never remember being disciplined or heard angry words from her. She will explain the good deeds to me in her kind and affectionate voice. I learnt the difference between good and bad thru simple stories.
I have difficult time accepting the western concept of “timeout/Naughty chair” advised and exercised by most moms in US. As an adult if I make mistake, I wanted other party to come and talk to me than to ignore me. When people offend me badly that’s when distance myself from that person because I feel “Silence is the worst punishment”.
I just can’t imagine ignoring my son when he throws tantrum or just being plain mischievous. I can make him quiet if I just hug him /hold him and say that I love him. He feels so guilty when I say “Amma not happy” when he does something which he is not supposed to do. He gets my message right and clear. This works well both with Sr and Jr . I have all the time and patience just like my grand mom because I am a SAHM just like my grandma.
This nursery rhyme reminds me of the stories that most of us( Indians) heard as kids explaining the simple concept of life. Thanks to amma singing this rhyme often NR loves this one.
I want NR to come and talk to me/explain things than to make him sit quietly in a “Naughty /time out chair”. Aren’t we teaching about hate/punishment implicitly at this younger age?. I used to wonder why toddlers say my mom/dad/sister/brother hates me so often in this country. Personally I have never heard this "hate" word from kids (of all ages) in India especially toddlers.
Already this world is filled with hatred and people are trying to punish each other thru violence in name of religion, caste and creed. Why should we make our kids feel that hate so early at home ?
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