I wish to grow old like her

During my visit to India first thing which attracts me when I get out of airport are the faces of older women. Women‘s face adorned with big pottu (bhindi) having a casual conversation with friends/ relatives and walking/shopping around in their own pace.

That generation of  women who raised their kids with love, kindness and discipline because they had all the time at their disposal. They lived in world which never expected them to lead a dual role as professional women and a mom.

Today in the name of progress ,we are slowly losing/erasing this good aspect of life. Every action is timed and we are always in hurry with endless plans about something or other. I wish to grow older and be kind like her though I am not blessed with a  voice like hers not even near ; )

Photo courtesy: The Hindu

She very much resembles my ammuma. It’s been more than 30 years since my ammuma died. Lately I have been thinking about my dearest ammuma a lot . I wish she was alive to see my cute son.

A thanksgiving to remember

NR  spent the day on CB’s shoulders and happily enjoyed his dad’s company.We didn’t have any special plans for thanksgiving this year due to NR daily schedule and our forthcoming trip to India. I was not even able to plan a simple thanksgiving meal since I was sick for last couple of weeks. I was little disappointed with myself for not celebrating NR’s first thanksgiving in a special way till I switched the TV on  in the evening.

I thanked god for giving us this peaceful evening filled with warm meal, warm house and warm company. This song which I sings often came to my mind.

It brought back my memories of Sep 11th 2001. We woke by a frantic phone call from a friend .We saw horrors of planes hitting the twin towers on TV. For the first time in my life I was so depressed. I went thru depression for more than a month in my way leading life like a zombie not able to feel happy or satisfied which was totally “not me”. My daily commute to work and daily tasks got me thru the tough time.

I learnt to see this world in a different way like my fellow Americans. We witnessed the generosity of this great nation. Both government and community came in a big way to help the victims. Most Americans move on and lead a normal life after this great tragedy. It taught us to be ready as couple to face the unknowns. It made us to prepare our estate planning and other essential stuff .

This thanksgiving evening I saw the generosity of the community again.  A Reserve Army soldier had bought a home in Kennewick, WA. His home owner's Association president threatened to sue him for not landscaping his yard. The soldier is serving in Middle East and the landscapers he'd hired skipped town. His pregnant wife was staying with her family in the east coast. Thanks to 65 volunteers 18,000 sqft of lawn was laid at his house within couple of hours. Read the news here.

I am hoping the community of Mumbai  and Indians in general should show the spirit of  kindness and courage during this difficult times. Our prayer goes to all the fallen heroes and victims of Mumbai city.

Heartfelt goodbye to Brenden Foster a Noble soul

Good bye dear Brenden. Though we haven't met I am going to remember you forever in my life. I will introduce you to my little son NR .Hope NR will get a noble heart just like you to help others.

You gave us hope and reminded us that good souls outnumbers bad souls on this earth. This earth needs more guardian angels like  you. May your soul  rest in peace .

Photo Courtesy KATU.COM

About Brenden Foster (News from Katu.com website)

Boy shares heartbreaking last wish

YouNews™

Story Published: Nov 7, 2008 at 10:13 PM PST

Story Updated: Nov 21, 2008 at 8:50 PM PST

By KOMO Staff

Video

LYNNWOOD, Wash. -- Doctors gave 11-year-old Brenden Foster two weeks to live.Those two weeks were up on Wednesday. On Friday, he shared his last wish.

Not yet a teenager, Brenden's time to die has come."I should be gone in a week or so," he said.Brenden was the kid who ran the fastest, climbed the highest and dreamed of becoming a marine photographer. Leukemia took away all those things, but not his dying wish to help others.

"He's always thought about others. Never complained about having to go through this, ever," said his mother, Wendy Foster.

When Brenden was first diagnosed with leukemia, he and his mom began a new tradition. Every night they list three positive things that happened during the day, and they have to share a laugh. A chuckle will do, Brenden said, but a fake laugh will never do.

In the last days of his life, it was a homeless camp, namely Nickelsville, that captured the boy's heart.

"I was coming back from one of my clinic appoints and I saw this big thing of homeless people, and then I thought I should just get them something," he said.

Brenden is too ill to leave his bed and feed the homeless. He walked into an emergency room last December and hasn't walked since.

But Brenden's wish will not go unfulfilled. A group planned to gather in his honor on Friday night to make sandwiches and deliver them to the homeless.

"We're making 200 sandwiches -- half ham and cheese, and half peanut butter and jelly. He didn't want them all to be peanut butter and jelly in case somebody was allergic to peanut butter," said Jennifer Morrison, one of the participants.

"They're probably starving, so give them a chance," said Brenden.

Brenden, surrounded by love and wise beyond his years, urges others to follow their dreams.

"Mine already came true," he said.

Brenden has relapsed for the last time. There is no chemo, no more transfusions; just comfort medications.

"It's devastating, but I find great peace in knowing we've had our time together and that we will see each other again," said Wendy.

Brenden has one more wish for the afterlife: become an angel who accomplishes even more in heaven than he did on Earth.

"I had a great time and until my time has come, I'm gonna keep having a good time," he said.

Don't cry for Brenden. He doesn't want leukemia to claim any more tears.

How to help

Go to the Problem Solvers donation page and select "Brenden Foster Food Drive" from the donation options list. 

 Read the news about Brenden Foster  , update on Brenden Foster Food drive

Windup Toys

 NR has very few toys to play with and most of them  gifted by friends. He is very fascinated with our hands, legs and face. CB and I constantly entertain him with our hand’s mimicking various animals, objects along with sounds. CB shows all kinds of silly faces. NR gives non stop giggles when we entertain him with our face and hands.

We want him to grow up feeling happy just like us being grateful for  simple things/blessings  in his life. As a couple we enjoy simple moments in our life than a lavish lunch/dinner at an expensive restaurant or expensive gifts . Simple things in our life make us happier like a stroll in the park during the weekday or spending some quiet time at home with each other. This was the reason we fell in love with each other 17 years ago .  We shared the same values, beliefs and philosophy in life though  we are from a different religious background. Life in US or success in our career haven't changed us a bit. CB and I  are two simple people leading simple life with no drama.

NR has started playing with toys and I was planning to get him some age appropriate toys like this, this, this  and this. I want to avoid buying big chunky plastic toys as much possible. I am going to try my best to keep this resolution.

Past Sunday, I was running an errand and I parked my car in front of a toy store. I ha n't visited this toy store since NR’s birth. I went inside and searched for the toys to buy for NR. Then I saw a 5-year-old girl trying out all sorts of windup toys on the floor and it brought back my childhood memories. I am not an  impulsive buyer but ended up buying lot of windup toys for NR.

I had a favorite tin windup toy – a skating monkey which skates and somersaults. This is was in mid seventies and having such a toy was big luxury at that time in small town like mine which never had a toy store. I don’t think even now my hometown has a decent toy store . Anyways, coming back to skating monkey toy, this was the popular toy when kids of my age or less/more visited our home. I shared all my toys with visiting play mates but I used to have few unlikable adamant visitors .They were the adamant  kids who want to take the toys with them to their home . They did everything in their power to get what they wanted. My dad always made me to give the toys . At that time I felt he was a villain like Nambiar. But the skating monkey always came back to me thanks to their parents. Later on when I heard if those kids were visiting us again, I  cleverly hid my toys. I never had guts to stand up against bullies neither then  nor now.

Feeding solid foods to NR is a big task by itself which takes me at least 45 minutes. I have to get all the tricks under my sleeve to make him open his mouth. I used these windup-toys on his high chair and it was an instant hit. He opened his mouth wide with his giggles and ate his food faster .One drawback was, he spat out more food than usual due to thunderous laughs.

Calling amma - Starting words thanks to pain

While sitting on his new high chair last thrusday, NR hit his head with the hanging toy. He cried "amma, amma, amma". Wow, he called me amma . I am teaching him to say  amma and appa for months now . NR is appa paiyan(papa's boy). I am kind of happy in a weird :) way to know that he wants me when he is in pain .

BTW, I have changed the hanging toy to the left side, so it is now difficult for him to pull the toy up to his head .

He loves the toy which came with the chair . CB sings this song "Frère Jacques, frère Jacques, dormez-vous? Dormez-vous? " to NR and the musical toy has this tune. Papa and son are singing/listening to this song non stop which making me crazy.

Divya menon - I love her voice

When my pregnancy was confirmed I took 3 months leave . I fully utilised my time-off , by listening to music and cooking my favourite food. Music  filled my heart and my house every minute of the day. I found Divya menon's blog thru another music blog.  I became an ardent music fan.

It's been long time since somebody's voice has such immense effect on me. She has a good future in the music industry. I had requested her to post full version of "omana thingal kidavoo" for NR. She was kind enough to post another tharattu song for NR. NR loves this song. You will too if you hear this song .

Love for music runs in the family

My extended family (maternal side) members are great music lovers thanks to my ammuma (grandma) and appupa (grandpa) for instilling great interest in  music. My grandparents listened to lot of Hindi, Malayalam, carnatic and tamil songs in their gramophone. They loved a Ustad Alla Rakha and Mukeshji.

My grandparents had 6 girls and two boys. My mother’s eldest sisters were well known professional carnatic singers. And each and everyone one in the family learnt traditional carnatic music vocal/instrument. My grandpa dreamt of having a carnatic music troupe, each one of his children specializing in carnatic instrument/vocal. His dream never came true and only two of his daughters became professional carnatic singers. But others in the family has good knowledge of carnatic music.

My mother took violin lesson during her elementary school days. My mother had a good taste for music but she was too lazy or not interested to follow traditional music lesson which reduced her idling/play time. When she came home after her music class, she would start playing her favorite film songs on violin. Her family knew at that time that she would not  advance in her music career :). And it came true, when she broke her violin and that brought an end to her violin lessons.

During our family gatherings, there will be a group singing or my periyammas will sing our favorite carnatic numbers accompanied by periyappa on mridangam (my eldest periyamma’s husband is a professional Mridangam artist ). They used  Tambura instead of the music box. They taught me to play Tambura . I used to get a rare opportunity to play Tambura when they practiced at home or duing marghali masam(Marghali month) recitals at home.

The sound of Tambura is so magical and divine. Tambura's natham (sound) made me to choose “Veenai. I took Veenai lessons for couple of years at college. I fondly remember those times. I had to relocate to Chennai for higher studies and I stopped learning Veenai.

I stayed in my eldest periyamma’s house in Chennai during my Anna university days  and took up vocal lesson from my periyamma who took music classes for children and adults.  Somehow I never had opportunity to continue my Veenai practice after school due to my career. My Veenai still lies in the same spot in my bed room at my parent’s house. During my upcoming India trip, I need to repair it and donate the Veenai to some deserving student.

I used to( before NR's arrival) listen to songs from the time I wake up till I go to sleep. Listening to carnatic/tamil songs in my car made my daily drive to work a breeze. CB likes good music but  listens only to english songs. He listens to few tamil movie songs which are evergreen melodies like “Nilavey vaa” , “kadalin deepam onru (old rajni hit). I wonder how he got influenced by western music than his native language songs .I think his school, his Anglo Indian friends and his RC Christian background and the church choir might have influenced him more than the language he spoke fluently at home.

When I was pregnant with NR I listened to carnatic/devotional songs, tamil/malayalam film song non stop . When he was in my womb, NR played soccer  (my guess : ) ) with his non stop pointed kicks. Listening to Harivarasanam calmed him. After birth he goes to sleep when he listens to Harivarasanam , Omana thingal kidavoo . During bed time CB plays Baby Love – quiet time  lullaby CD for NR.

Even as a 3 weeks old baby NR needed constant entertainment.  So I sang a lot of nursery songs to him.  That became our daily routine and he listens to songs for an hour in the morning after his breakfast. NR has his own preference in listening to songs. If he doesn’t like the songs he will let you know by raising his voice or crying. All I have to do was to play his fave no, he will immediately  give big wide smile and start kicking his legs out of joy. My new job is being a personal DJ for my six month old. He prefers female singers with the exception of KJ Yesudoss and Bala murali Krishna.

As a six months old baby, NR can track the moving objects . He has started showing interest in watching the videos of  his favorite nursery songs from you tube. When my niece visited us from India, she introduced him to couple of song which has become his favourite like BalGanesh - Naache Dhin Dhin Dhintak, Varam Varam poochandi (tamil folk song), Nakka mukka (tamil movie song).

Halloween 2008 - He became a "SHE pumpkin"

Last eleven years  Halloween came and went .  We loved watching kids/children with Halloween costumes . I love the little  girls beautifully dressed in princess /fairy costume in-spite of the cold weather (girls can never let themselves down for weather right?) asking trick or treat in their quite & shy voice(s). We loved spoiling them with good chocolates.

I had one fun Halloween episode six years back,  a chubby young Chinese boy paid couple of visits to our home  trying to get more chocolates. Every time he altered his costume a bit . First visit he came with full costume with mask & dress.  Second visit he removed the mask but with same dress. The third visit was with a paper grocery bag mask , barely having two holes for his eyes and one for his nose.   I admired his creativity and went along with him. He tried the same trick for next couple of years. And then, I did not see this little boy for last couple of years. I thought to myself may be the moved or I didn't take notice of him. This Halloween I got the answer . The little boy is now  a big boy (I should say verrrrrrrrrrrrrry big boy)and by his physical appearance I guess he should be in his middle school or freshmen in high school.

This Halloween we had our new little boy " NR".  A month back, I bought a little bee costume for NR . We tried the costume a week before Halloween and it was bit bigger for him. CB got a "Pea-pod" costume in 6 -9 month size, which was too tight for him. Finally he bought a pumpkin costume just the day before Halloween. 

It was a pretty busy day for me .My blog friend Sheela planned to visit us with her daughter Ana. But on her way to our house  she got news about her baby boy Sam running high fever. So she has to return back . I was eager to meet her and her cute daughter Ana but we postponed our meeting to some future date.

I dressed NR in his pumpkin costume. More often NR gets compliments as "she" instead of "he".  Halloween day was no different and everybody said "oh she looks sooooo cute".  I politely told everybody that NR is boy. Later when placing his costume back in the package , I noticed the picture. A baby girl was posing for the costume. CB had purchased a baby girl pumpkin costume for his son.  CB has some explaining to do when NR grows up and sees his first halloween pictures.

I never knew that even pumpkin costume is gender based : ) .oh well, after all this is our first baby and CB is allowed to do such goof ups right ? .

 

Our sleep position circa 2008 BC

Recently I took the sleep test from this site ,  The Result

The Secret Language of Sleep:
A Couple's Guide to the Thirty-Nine Positions

YEAH right.That was our sleep position circa 2008 BC (BC - BEFORE CHILD)

This is our sleep position 2008 AC (AC - AFTER CHILD)

Scene 1 : Master Bedroom King size bed occupied by a tiny baby and not so tiny Mom :)

Scene 2: Guest Bedroom Queen size bed occupied by a  displaced father :(

US election 2008 - A change happenned

History is made - thanks to a landslide victory.  I am glad to live in this country during this historical moment. America once again proved that democracy prevails no matter what color or race or religion you belong to. Every Americans/first generation immigrants truly believe that their dreams can come true someday with hard work, faith ,honesty ,integrity and passion.

America welcomes its new president Mr. Barack Obama.