On faith and miracle

• Two young people met in college and became good friends. The relationship began based on the respect they had for each other and the values in life they shared.


• They got married after starting a successful career with blessings from family and friends. They became couple .It's the spirituality that formed the foundation of their relationship though they hailed from different religion.


• They planned to start the family after couple years, the girl thought after fifth anniversary.


• After fifth anniversary they wanted to have a baby.


• The sixth, seventh, eighth anniversaries came. The girl was pressured, cornered, emotionally blackmailed and at times to a degree even humiliated by certain family members and friends who have had babies.


• They were spiritual partners so they believed in leading a life that god has planned for them. She never wanted to seek the help from doctors. She believed that god has a plan for them. She adamantly struck to her belief.


• The girl believed in her heart she is going to have a baby but when? She believed only time will tell. She even joked with her sisters that she doesn’t want to become tabloid news like this.


• After tenth anniversary the girl mentally prepared to give up that dream of becoming a biological mother but to pursue the path of adoption. This was the only demand she had with her boyfriend during their courtship days that she wanted to adopt a baby no matter how many kids they might have in future.


• He was in it too but not yet ready to give up that dream. The girl’s mother visited them for their 10^th anniversary. They visited their parents that year.


• The girl’s ageing father had couple of accidents that year that made him sicker. She saw her strong father who drove 15 kms everyday to the farm land at the ripe old age of 73 struggling to walk.


• It became surreal that there was a good possibility that he might not see her children. She started to rethink about seeking help from doctors but still very reluctant. With the blessings of god she had a happy, peaceful life till that point.


• Her elder sister remarked even if you seek medical help, only if god wishes you'll have a baby. That made sense to her. Her younger sister was praying a million times for this miracle to happen.


• The astrologers had been suggesting them to go Rameswaram temple. Neither the family nor the girl believed in astrology but decided to give a try . After all she is going to put her faith in a doctor  why not her  beloved god?


• The girl absolutely detests forcing her opinions on husband/sisters/family/friends. The guy was very happy to heed to the advice of the elders in the family.


• This was their first journey as couple to a Hindu temple outside her home town after marriage though during every visit back home, they have gone to all famous catholic shrines in Tamil Nadu with her in-laws.


• The girl’s sister and brother in law happily drove them to Rameswaram and made all arrangement for the pooja and rituals.


• She felt the blessings when they took dip in holy wells and shared her feelings only with her younger sister.


• They returned home and resumed their routine life. She made an appointment to meet the doctor after two months. She met the doctors for a brief twenty minutes and discussed the plan.


• The doctor suggested taking a course of pills for six weeks to control her PCOS. She found about PCOS a year earlier during her visit to India.


• She had to take three pills a day but even taking just one pill made her life miserable. The doctor recommended them to try naturally for six months, if it is not successful then start the IUI. She refused the six month option and opted to go for IUI from the first month. Why not, they have already tried for 11 years.


• She was also working on couple of projects with 13 hours days almost daily. And she was working remotely with her team  in three US cities and in UK.


• This meant she was on phone, IM and video conference many times a day.  And she has to excuse herself many times to use the rest room. The pills were making her work life hard.


• She was not able to take the recommended dosage after trying for a month and half.Her doctor refused to start her treatment unless she completed her six weeks pill schedule.


• Being a professional, she worked on her projects till the release date .Then she applied for Leave of absence. The HR recommended medical leave instead of LOA ,which meant she will get her full salary for the three months. First good sign.


• She was able to complete her recommended dosage. She never realized that getting fertility treatments meant the patient initiating every process unlike in India.


• She got her monthly cycle and called her nurse to ask for the next course action. The nurse did not want to start the treatments without consulting the doctors since the doctor was on two weeks vacation. The girl got so frustrated at the phase the things were going.


• The nurse recommended a HSG procedure. The treatments would start only next cycle. This meant her ten weeks medical leave would end by the time they start the real process like taking ovulation pills, checking for ovulation and going in for IUI.


• The girl didn't get any information about HSG procedure during initial consultation. The HSG procedure has to done on 6^th -10^th day of the cycle and she called the nurse exactly on the sixth day just on a whim. The second good sign.


• They scheduled the HSG in a lab near her home on the eighth day. They went to the lab only to find the HSG machine has broken down. The only option was to get an appointment in the lab at the other side of her city. They also informed her it will be impossible to get the appointment on her 10^th day since all the patients with cancelled appointment were trying to get one.


• She got the appointment on her 10^th day from the lab on the other side of the city due to cancellation. Another good sign.


• The lady doctor at the lab looked different from any doctors she had seen before. She was in her sixties wearing a long skirt and had a long hair up to her knees just like her ammuma(grandmother).


• After the test the doctor casually mentioned that lot of woman got pregnant after HSG procedure. The girl smiled back at the doctor and told her that their 11^th anniversary is due in two days. They waited for such miracle to happen for eleven years. The nurse said may be this is their lucky year. The fourth good sign.


• They received such kind words and blessings from many unknown people that year. Everybody seems to bless and pray for them.


• In preparation for the IUI, they have already stocked the medicine cabinet with ovulation kits. The girl was curious to try one, for the first time though she really believed she would ovulate only with the help of ovulation pills.


• She called the nurse and got all the needed information. She started checking her ovulation.


• To her amazement she was ovulating. She was overwhelmed with joy. All these years she believed that she was not ovulating and believed that to be the reason for not getting pregnant.


• They went ahead and did the deed. They have been trying this for many years just using the dates. This time she used the ovulation kit. She had no expectation but she was preparing herself emotionally for upcoming monthly drill/treatments.


• They used the time off well and went around the city. They dined in all fine restaurants and visited places. She knew her medical leave was ending soon and she deserved this break after six long months of putting 13 hour days.


• One day the husband bought a bottle of wine home for the first time. He drinks wine rarely and only when he dines with his best friends. She doesn’t even drink soda.


• He asked her to taste the wine and she did . It tasted like sparkling grape juice her favourite drink. He had added plenty of sugar in the wine just for her to like it :). She liked it and took couple of sips.


• When she woke up next day she felt so dizzy. She felt like being dropped from an aircraft. She experienced this on and off since the PCOS pills lowered her sugar levels.


• But this day, it never went away. In her naïve (stupid) mind she thought she was having a hang over. She sat on the loo for more than twenty minutes fearing she might fall and hit the floor. She cursed herself for drinking the wine the previous night.


• She managed to get up to make a call to her husband. Thank god for voice calling option. She was not able to look and dial the numbers since her eyes were rolling uncontrollably.


• Husband came and took her to the ER. The first question they asked was “Are you pregnant?. She said they were trying for the baby.


• They took the pregnancy test which came negative. She saw her PCP after few days and he referred her to the ENT specialist. She had dizziness episode for next five days.


• Couple of weeks went by with ENT visits and long list of Ear related tests in different hospitals. The husband had to take off lot of his vacation time to take her to the tests.


• The doctor recommended seven more weeks of medical leave which was granted immediately.


• The ENT diagnosed the problem as " Vertigo" and recommended physical therapy.


• She went for two sessions. By this time she was ready to resume her fertility treatments.


• As per the plan, the doctor wanted her to stop the birth control pills but to take another set of new pills to induce periods. She called the nurse on Friday requesting for the prescription to be sent to her pharmacy.


• The nurse asked the usual question “Are you pregnant?  She narrated the ER episode.


• The nurse asked her check again using in home pregnancy kit and call her next Monday.


• She quietly went to the drugstore Saturday and bought the PTK (pregnancy test kit) and decided to check it next day.


• She knew this drill very well. She did her pregnancy tests before the start of the monthly pill cycle for many years.


• That Sunday morning was no different. She did the test with first urine of the day. She waited for the results impatiently since she wanted to brew a cup of tea. It was a cold day. 


• She checked the results only to see two lines which meant positive for pregnancy. She thought she had bad test kit. She planned to test it again next day just in case. She didn’t want to share this news with her husband thinking this was a false alarm.


• She had mentally, physically and financially prepared herself to give at least two years to get the positive news.


• Because she heard such time line from other women she had met at the fertility clinic. Every one of them had gone for few rounds of IUI then went with IVF.


• She had friends who tried for IVF three or four times but with no luck. She has seen them go through the agony of physical, emotional and financial pain. She did everything in her power to help her friends to heal physically and emotionally. Thatswhy, whenever she hears or reads callous remarks against IVF her heart cringes. She wished such people knew the pain of losing hope, dreams and something so precious to your heart.  


• She thought about the results throughout that day but she kept hopes low. After all just three weeks earlier the doctors in the ER had told her she was not pregnant.


• That night she could not stop herself from telling her husband. He ran to bathroom to see the test. He confirmed it and was happy. They both had a long night.


• On Monday the test came positive once again. She called her nurse whom she has never met in person, to convey the news. All she heard was a loud shriek. Even she herself was not that excited because she still didn’t believe the result.


• She was asked to go the nearest hospital immediately for a blood draw to test her pregnancy.


• The pregnancy was once again confirmed by the hospital. She waited anxiously for her husband to reach home to share the happiest news of their life.


• When she shared the news they both broke down and cried. They were waiting for this miracle to happen for eleven years.

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN. All we need is to pray and keep that hope alive.  We surrendered our faith to god and waited for his plan to be revealed to us. It was revealed on one perfect day in September of 2007. 

I wanted to write this post since NR birth just for one reason. To give hope and peace to any woman sitting alone in her bed after a failed IVF or miscarriage and asking god "why?".

I read the following lines from a book "When bad things happen to good people" when I was in my 11th grade which struck with me forever.

"Life is a like a beautiful Embroidery.The backside of the embroidery has mangled threads with many knots to make a beautiful pattern on the front. Good and hard times are like the front and backside of the embroidery.  With faith we can see the that hard times like the knots happens to make our life beautiful and fulfilling like the beautiful pattern on the front.

Later on my dad who is not a medical professional shared the knowledge that when new life gets created in a woman’s womb, body pumps more blood to her uterus and creates dizziness. And the modern pregnancy kits was not able to confirm this but I am sure an old experienced mid wife would have confirmed by checking my pulse.

 The day I felt dizzy was the day my kochu kuttan began his journey as a new life into this world. He turned three this month. I pray and wish him a blessed  long , happy , healthy and peaceful life . We are also hoping and praying for another miracle in his life.

 

 

   

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World cup cricket -2011

The entire world is done with world cup cricket . I am little late for this post.  I am happy that India won the match after three decades(almost). It  was good to see the enthusiasm on the blogs and FB. I am happy that Indian team lived up to the expectations of their  fans world-wide. I am happy that fans got their money's worth after 28 years. I am happy to learn thru blogs that we were not the only family with crazy game ritual like  my periammas wearing the same saree. Every Indian family have their own crazy game ritual just like ours.  But I am also happy it's over. I am happy that I don't have to see any more world cup related FB status.

It was fun to watch friends transformation thru FB status. They took on new avatars.  My good old friend who is otherwise a wise  and nice women posted this FB status "I am happy that two Asian teams are at the finals".  where was that coming from?.  Was she smoking or what? I felt the racial tone but not sure how other FB'ers felt. Since I've known her for years , I know she took the new avatar of "Crazy cricket fan". This world cup really brought  the good and bad things in people. Good game from cricketers and bad side of Crazy fans.

I was  down with severe cold and head ache for a week. I was cheering CB to go to the restaurants or to Intel auditorium to watch the game live. But he was not at all interested . The guy who used to sit in front of computer throughout the night to get the ball by ball score was not interested.   He is still crazy about soccer. He records and watches every game played by European and American soccer clubs. He watches tennis and Basket ball matches regularly before but not american football . I definitely see a shift in his game watching behaviour. CB is watching american football more than before.In 2008, he watched the "Davis cup" live in portland, oregon . He was lucky to get the tickets since they sold out quickly.

The 2011 world cup cricket brought back lot of memories from school for me. I was a 12-year-old girl during last world cup final in 1983.  It was a pre-internet Era  and all the girls in my class were eager to get a copy of  the "Sports Star"magazine which covered the 1983 world cup front to back. That issue had this  amazing center cover / poster with Kapil dev giving his infamous bugs-bunny smile holding the trophy with his teammates.  Thanks to my mother , I was able to get a copy little early before the magazine reached the book stands. I was the first one to get a copy, so smuggled the "Sports Star" to  my class. I had a friend named Kalpana. S who was crazy about  Ravi Shasthri.  I remember her kissing Ravi shastri's photo in the magazine. Thank god I was not caught because of the frenzy it created in the class room that day.  We lived in a poster Crazy Era. My sister had posters of Samantha Fox and Imran Khan at our home.

My younger sister was four years old and my younger brother was a six months old baby. He became crazy cricket fan and was an excellent cricketer . Fate took him in a different direction. He watched 2011 world cup cricket finals as a doting father to a six month old kutty mol.

This world cup  showed how far India has come in terms of technology and money. In 1983  only  few Indian sports photographer  had  the opportunity to witness the victory in person. In 2011  lot of Indians could  afford steep ticket prices , host posh game parties at clubs and in private residences. 

 I am sure that 1983 world cup team envies the present cricket team,  in regards to the  money they  make now. I can almost hear them say  "f*****g lucky " guys. 

The 2011 world cup Indian cricket team not only got fat pay cheques but they were also lucky enough to have  large crowds of Indian fans living around the world unlike in 1983 . The NRI's celebrated the victory with such pride. The Indian restaurants in my neighbourhood were filled with faces painted with Indian tri color flag after the match for lunch that day.  This is definitely the golden time for Indian cricket team.

 

Fresh start

My laptop was dead almost since last year. It took 10 minutes just to open a folder. Few months back, I resurrected it  with a new OS after taking  a backup of my laptop hard drive.

We  used our home computers (We have two servers on network) majorly for work related and personal stuff. I  had saved tonnes of files/photos, my code, hobby related stuff, favourite website links for last seven years.  I had written lot of blog post and saved it in our home PC.  I wrote majority of the blog post  in 2009 /2010. I have edited and published some of those blog post since January 2011.

Two weeks backs before the world cup cricket finals , I wrote a blog post for which I tried to link a website. When I logged into that blog/website our office computer got infected within a second. My husband has not updated/renewed the antivirus on our office PC for quiet sometime which I came to know after this incident.

It was not allowing me get to any of the hard disk  folders, so I was planning to take the backup files through DOS. I anticipated a couple of hours of work  and had planned to do the update next day . CB checked the infected computer when he worked late that night and immediately sprung into action. He just went ahead and installed the new OS by completely formatting the hard drive. He knew that I stored all my files in that PC, but never bothered to even think even for second before zapping the hard drive.

When I realised this the next day , I broke down and cried. Lot of my friends/family photos were there . Though I back up all the photos from laptop to an external drive periodically , I never bothered to back up my files from our office PC.  When I asked why he did that, he gave me his usual look (a sorry face after doing stupid things)and I gave my usual head shake. Some  days I only wish I am an angrier person  and yell back at people when they misbehave or hurt me.  I only vent with my younger sister which doesn't help my case with CB. She is his unpaid lawyer. CB met my younger sister for the first time when she was in eighth grade. And they share a very special bond. She now officially represents the father son duo on  pro-bono basis.

So here I am , Planning to write fresh post as and when time permits (I get very little time on computer on week days). A fresh start forced by turn of events . 

PS: After writing this post, I used the spell check . I got  "No writing error found" msg. Looks like a good sign to me. 

I don't remember seeing this for any of my posts. Mostly  I publish the post before editing or proof reading it. Even when I save it for future editing, I usually forget about the proof reading part before publishing the post.

When we go out with NR

I’ve always carried most of the items from the list in a bag especially when we go for a road trip for couple of hours to visit friends.

1.  His favorite books


2. Flash cards or photos


3. Drawing books


4. Diego videos and a 8 inch DVD player ( bought the DVD player ten years back but very rarely we used it )


5. His favorite music (MP3 player)


6. His favorite nursery rhymes videos


7. Toys or games


8. Windup toys

 I have a memory like sieve. I often used to forget to take an item or two from the list. From last March ,I just carry just one item in my bag  . Our IPAD.

Wtih IPAD every item in the list checked when we go out. I still take his windup toys along with IPAD .  IPAD has such positive influence in my son’s life. I cannot express in words our gratitude and how much it has changed our life. We can take NR out anywhere and we haven’t seen him cry not once in a new place. A big heartfelt “thanks” to the IPAD team at apple.

 NR would sit in a place and play with his spelling app with such focus that nothing around him bothers him.  NR afraid of loud sounds, confined/dark rooms or unfamiliar places at times. He was so curious about alphabets right from the time he started crawling. He would gaze at the minute print on the label from his toys, swing or his baby gates. Right from eighth month onwards he would always use books in the right way. I used to tease him by giving the book in an inverted position. He would either turn the book or roll to the right side and then keep looking at the pictures.

 Whenever we go for desi gatherings especially birthday parties, I have seen few parents having different opinion about my two-year old using the IPAD.Most people appreciate  my son's good behaviour and compliment him as a smart boy.  But both parties have no idea about the challenges we face on everyday basis. I just give my usual wide smile to the compliments. But I don’t understand the 30-year-old grown up women with kids being bothered by a well-behaved kid. Instead of enjoying the party or looking after their own kids they spend the good time gossiping about a two-year old baby.  Shame on them. Nobody has right to judge other people's kids especially when they are not bothering/harassing or bullying others kids.

 Then I hear the debate about impact of technology on kids. Parents  not spending enough time with kids or  fighting/arguing and disrespecting each other in front of our children or having biased opinion about religion, caste or social status of others have lifetime impact on kids than the technology. How many of us think for second before we complain about our in-laws, friends, or husband in front of our kids? Do you use proper language in front of your kids? Sadly  current generation of parents worry about the cognitive development than the emotional development of a child.

After all ,my two-year old is using technology wisely for learning his alphabets. We never taught him anything or gave him IPAD voluntarily but I do use IPAD as a tool to teach him some important life skills. The people who are near and dear to NR not only agree with us but commend us for knowing  him better.  And being born to parents working in the latest technology , he would have definitely inherited our passion. And I see no issue with that : ).

I come across mothers, teachers, doctors, therapist on daily basis appreciating the impact of IPAD on kids. I couldn't agree more. Like everything else ,it's up to the parents to guide them in the right way.  We are heading in the direction where IPAD in future will  replace class room paper text books.

Here are some of the articles written by seasoned journalists

1.http://www.indystar.com/article/20110417/OPINION03/104170418/To-succeed-explore-best-practices?odyssey=mod%7Cnewswell%7Ctext%7COpinion%7Cs

2.http://blogs.scholastic.com/royaltreatment/2011/03/ipad2-made-for-teaching.html

3.http://e-blahblah.com/index.php/2011/01/1300/

4.http://thejournal.com/articles/2010/10/13/ushering-ipad-into-the-classroom.aspx

5.http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/05/education/05tablets.html

6.http://www.ipadinschools.com/

People who are opposing technology blindly should take a look at the turn of events taking place around us. We are living in the era of wiki-leaks. Within twenty years of embracing technology, India which was considered a developing nation in 1980's,  is leading the world in software technology. 

Anglo Indian friends/families from my native town

We  had  many Anglo-Indian neighbors living around my house during my childhood/school/college years. They introduced me to western- music, fashion and lifestyles. I enjoyed all the delectable cakes, sweet confections from their house during  Christmas.

I loved to watch the Christmas tree/decorations in their homes. I had a secret wish -  to be a Christian during Christmas just to get a gift from Santa Claus. Well ,sometimes our secret wish can come true after many years. I loved the unique interior decorations in the house. My desire for  mid-century modern furniture and home decorations was influenced by them.

Most Anglo Indians from my town immigrated to Australia during my high school years. These are some of the memories of  them from my childhood.

Nordmann family lived opposite to PS mama's (my dad's best friend) house on the first floor . My family lived in the same neighborhood. I used go to PS mama's house often after school especially when my mom was in the  hospital.

Nordmann family had 4 adult kids all in high school. I vividly remember their daily evening routine . They had this huge dining table near the front door and they never closed the doors except at night. I remember seeing Mary amma - the tamil Christian house keeper who worked for Nordmann family, taking out huge cut/blocks of cooked beef from the huge pressure cooker and placing it on a huge plate.  The hungry teenagers usually ate the meat with knife and fork.   I was seven or eight years old girl then. I always ran back to PS mama house when I spot Maryamma bringing the cooker to the table. I hated the smell of meat and I would watch them eating dinner from PS mama's door step.

The eldest one - Cleito was a funny guy. I used to call him Cleito anna (big brother) . He would take a big chunk of meat in his fork just to scare me. Now when my American friends order beef in the restaurant this scene comes to my mind every single time. I had a lot of funny colleagues like Cleito . During lunch outings, they would eat the steak (cooked to rare which look like a raw meat to me )with all funny expression just to make me feel uneasy. 

Childhood never stops at school for some happy guys.  I had a  group of colleagues/buddies at Intel who were kids at heart in spite of having kids.  We got the attention of serious faced techies  at the cafeteria almost every afternoon thanks to our thunderous laughter.  The curious CB used to sit with his team mates (desi guys mostly tamil guys) few tables away from us. Atleast one of them would always come and aske me "Enna  eppadi ragalai everday ? (why so much laughter everyday) .  We had such fun/happy times like kindergartners  though we all worked on core security prodcuts for a world famous tech giant.  I missed them big time when I joined qualcomm.

Mr. Nordmann daughter Sandra’s collection of faux pearls in pastel colors mesmerized me.  I was 8 years old, when I  had a first glance at them lying on a dressing table in her dimly lit bed room . Till date, I love wearing huge colored bead necklaces because of her. She reminds me of sultry actress from American/English movies from 1960’s. She ranks first in the list of pretty girls I knew from my childhood.

Cleito anna's  pet - a white mice . He was like a magician with his mouse. The white mouse would come out of the attic when he whistled to eat the food. He was sad  to have lost that mouse in train while travelling to Banglore before leaving for Australia. He was a gorgeous guy who had this short girl friend. Both were famous hockey players in our town.

My first ball room experience was at an annual Anglo Indian’s New year celebration. I was in elementary school then. Fancy dress competition was a regular event at the new year's gala.  A guy came dressed like leper sitting on a wheeled cart. I stared at him thinking he was a real leper and wondered about his presence in the New Year’s party. I cried out loud when he came closer to just scare me.

I was scared of lepers during my childhood. I heard factious stories from adults about lepers abducting kids. My school was located next to a  famous cathedral in town. And many of them used to line up and sit against my convent's wall asking for money.  Growing up I was very touched by our convent nun's kindness - embracing poor kids in the school and helping the lepers.  This aspect of Christianity made me an admirer of that religion.  And my Montessori school nuns helped us tremendously during my mother's long stay at the hospital.  Two decades later I was married in that famous cathedral.

I remember my favorite baby girl - Kitty Paul from Paul's family dressed like a cute yellow chick for new year's fancy dress competition. She was then a 2 yr old beautiful chubby girl with catchy blue eyes. In 1999, I met her as a beautiful young girl along with her mother Mrs. Paul and Sister Ruthie at the railway station while travelling to Bangalore. My mom and Mrs. Paul were admitted in the same hospital when my mother went for kidney operation and Mrs. Paul for open heart surgery.

Mrs. Paul was CB’s kindergarten teacher. She hasn’t seen  him after 12th grade and could not believe that tiny little guy from her class has turned into a tall and broad guy and married a Hindu girl  she knew well . We were friends with Michael Paul’s family. My father used to call him Mickey Paul.

Rozario's family with seven kids lived just behind our home. They were loud all the time.  They had six girls and one boy. While returning from school every day I would see at least one Rozario kid talking/flirting with the boy friend in front of their house. I also remember their loud parties with loud music. I loved hearing loud western music playing round the clock in their house. Candy a reputed hockey player from this family was my batch mate at college.

During Indira Gandhi's death we were in Chennai enjoying our Diwali break with our extended family. On returning home, we heard the news about the hush-hush marriage Andrea since she got pregnant. She was the prettiest of all Anglo Indian girls from my town and her parents were very conservative people. The marriage took place on fateful day when Mrs. Indira Gandhi was assassinated. Her younger brother was CB's classmate. During my trip back home in 2002 my cousin showed me the infamous hotel in our town which was hot spot for Anglo Indian lovers during those days : ).

My college dress code was liberal which meant Anglo Indian friends wearing backless formal dress, Kaftans and spaghetti strap dresses to college in late 80’s. My college provided us with micro mini divided skirts for sports day parade (inter department parade).  And as a  NCC cadet I had to take part in the dept parade every year.   Every tom, dick and Harry from my neighborhood got a sport's day pass by citing some imaginary sister's name during our sports day parade just to drool over the hundreds of girls wearing micro mini skirts. Our college watchman never allowed us to go outside the campus to get some refreshment after our NCC drill during college hours . My Roman Catholic college had some weird rules like this.

My good friend Anita my collegemate  is a guitarist.  She was a famous guitarist (in campus and in our city) and would play for us during lunch times.  Me, Anita and Nachal represented our department in fashion parade event. Anita for western dress, moi for cotton sarees and my married classmate Nachal for silk.  Anita's dad was CB's french teacher at school. Anita was the first friend to know about CB . She used to call me "saint" during college days . She was pretty surprised to hear that I had fallen in love , that too with roman catholic guy . CB played soccer at school and she  knew CB well during high-school  years.

Anglo Indian friends had a good influence on my life growing up in small town in Tamil Nadu. I cherish the best memories of my childhood thanks to their Christmas and New Year parties and their friendship.  Though CB and I went to different schools, after marriage we  realised that we had many Anglo Indian friends in common. And we talk often about our friends from our native place. This is best part about marrying a guy from your home town who knew your friends too. When I share a memory about our life/friends in our hometown with CB, we both go back to that time.

This week we fondly remembered and shared our memories from our home town. Thanks to FB, I was able to see the pictures of all anglo Indians friends who left my home town in seventies and eighties, especially picture of Sandra N in her late forties and other Nordmann family members.  That night I went to bed feeling like an eight year old Montessori school kid.

Happy Mother's day

Mother's day wishes all the mothers around the world  Motherhood is  a challenge and a gift .My love and  respect goes to all those strong moms out there striving hard to better the families.

My life back in India showed me the courage of mothers who never give up hope inspite of all the hardships they faced. The best was my maid Vasuki amma who worked as mid day meal teacher but worked as a maid in couple of houses to makes ends meet. She had 4 girls and one boy. Today they are all well educated, one even finsihed her CA . She would send her prekg and elementary school kids (both girls) at times to wash vessels if she is late or doing some extra work at other homes. My mom used to get so angry at her for sending the little kids . Since they came in the evening right after I return from school and before my mom returned from work, I finished all the work . It was right thing to do and never thought twice about it. They were just 5 and 8 year old girls but they would have a fight with me for not allowing them to work . They were their mother's little helpers and never felt even bit sad or unhappy but felt very proud to replace their mother. The little girls sang and entertained me when I did the chores. The little girl talked non stop and would mimic this famous dialogue from Director visu's Movie.  A little act of kindness I showed as a fourteen year old girl earned me a good place in their heart. Even today if you meet vasuki amma she will have all good things to tell about me.  Vasuki amma's kids all lead a good life today because they took their responsibilities so seriously early in their life .This was the secret behind their success. They realised the struggle their mother faced to bring them up and shared the burden . Not once I've heard vasuki amma say that she worked hard for the kids but said it's her duty to educate them , feed them well and provide a safe place to live. And the kids happily pitched in to help their mothers. I am sure this life lesson would have made them great mothers.

Ammuma's house

I lived with my Ammuma, appupa, chitha (my mom younger sister) and with two mamas(my mom’s younger brothers) till I was three or 3.5 years old. Then my parents (aka Mr and Mrs. Nambiar) took me away from the favorite place on earth.

My ammuma house was located in a street having a Murugan temple at the end of the street. It resembled the miniature village scene from our “kolu” with two rows of houses with temple at the end of street. Ammuma and myself used to go to the Murugan temple frequently. She took me  with her everywhere she went. My favorite one is the fish/veg market and the grocery store (Nadar kadai) where I got my favorite toffee - Kummercut.

My ammuma’s house had a porch with a cement chaise like the Victorian era ones. Every evening I used to lay there eagerly waiting for my chitha’s arrival from office. She worked in Madras secretariat at that time. Every day she got my evening snack wihtout fail- a bunch of Hyderabadi white grapes and packet of roasted peanuts . I merrily ate my snack sitting on the bench on the front porch while she sipped her evening coffee. Those days every family got milk from local milk vendors. Late evening the balance milk would be used for making curd and ammuma never stored milk overnight. My first mama(maternal uncle)  who worked for commercial tax dept  got my night time milk and Pachanadan pazham ( green banana) from a nearby tea-shop daily.   Aavin milk booths mushroomed in Chennai in late seventies. Like milk/vegetable seller, the Krishna oil seller (Kerosene for the stove) came to every street to sell Krishna oil from his oil drum fitted on a tricycle.  Ammuma's kitchen had kerosene stove and she used to get kerosene from the Krishna oil vendor regularly. On my first trip to grocery store  in US , I was pleasantly surprised to see  gallon size milk bottles in the dairy aisle.

After lunch we used to take a nap together. We had frequent power cuts in those days and my ammuma was my manual fan. I still remember asking her “ammuma vichiri vudu” non stop when the ceiling fans stopped rotating. There are certain special events  which are carved forever in my memory. I can recollect my voice but don’t remember how I looked. My ammuma never had a huge dressing table mirror like the one in my house. She will fan me non-stop with the traditional ola visiri (traditional hand fan). She had all the patience that a world needed. I learnt the virtue of patience from her and from my chitha.

My ammuma came from a very wealthy family from Nagercoil . She was given good education and was proficient in English, Tamil, Malayalam and Hindi. She taught me to write family members name in English. I remember those times vividly. We used to have this checked patterns on the cement floor. I used to write family members name on the lines on the floor. I don’t know at what age she started teaching me alphabets but I was writing everybody’s name in English before three. My favorite was “Raman Pillai” my periamma’s husband name.

 Later in my life , when I scored good marks in exams or successful in my career my extended family (aunts, uncles) used to talk about my ability write people’s name in english at a very early age. I felt very shy and even little annoyed when this story was shared with visitors because I never thought it was a big deal. Taking care of NR right from birth without any guidance, I appreciate and respect my ammuma’s parenting skills more. I am amazed at my ammuma’s teaching skills. I am not very successful in teaching anything to NR. I am not even able to take his bottle away. Believe me I have tried do that right from 12 months. NR has a mind of his own. He picks up traits just like that if he is interested otherwise he doesn’t want to do anything with it. And I am fine with it. I will lend my hand whenever he needs it. God sends us all to this earth with enough skills to live our own life. I have a strong faith that my son is blessed with his own skills.

And I also strongly feel that my ammuma is my/NR's guardian angel.

The occasional cook

I had a glimpse of my husband’s culinary skills on the first night of my arrival in USA. It took almost 48 hours to reach Wichita from Chennai. I flew from Chennai to Singapore, Singapore to Seoul, Seoul to San Francisco, SFO to Denver, and Denver to Wichita. I had six hours of lay over at SFO.

A big group of my college friends came and received me at the SFO airport. Everybody worked for Silicon Valley companies except for CB. Most of them were in US when we got married except for one friend. He came to US few months after our wedding and he arranged the welcome party at SFO.    We had huge respect from our friends during our college days and everybody who knews us wanted our love to succeed. We were the first ones to get married from our group , CB at the age of 26. I got such warm reception at SFO . They had planned to take me out for lunch but we came back to the airport after a traffic delay. I had to settle with smelly, yucky shrimp fried rice at the Chinese restaurant in the airport. I expected Wang kitchen fried rice quality but ended up throwing the entire food in the trash. We were regulars at Wang Kitchen (in Parthan hotel complex in TNagar) and Southern Chinese restaurant near Anand Theater in Chennai.

I boarded my flight to Denver with empty stomach.  In Denver I had to catch a flight to Wichita within an hour.  I had just peanuts for lunch and dinner till I reached Wichita at 8.00pm. But my hunger went away after meeting CB. I was so happy and eager to see him after six months.

CB had prepared the best dinner for me. He made my favorite Tamil lunch spread sambar with egg plant, potato curry and Halibut fish fry. The food tasted so good except for one small glitch – he used channa dal(kadala paruppu) instead of toor dal (thuvaram paruppu) for sambar. Not bad at all for a guy who never made a cup of tea. The aroma of vegetable oil permeated the entire house and it was different from the cooking oils I had used in India. Even today when  I smell the aroma of vegetable oil, it takes me back to that night.

When CB was working for Microsoft in Seattle , I used to pick him from train station around mid night every Friday. He wanted  me to sleep more during the weekends and took over the duty of preparing morning cup of tea from that year. He prepares the best chai.

Whenever I returned from my business trips, he would cook my favorite south Indian food Sambar, potato curry and fish fry every single time. He was comfortable preparing those dishes without any cooking disasters. I looked forward to coming home to have a tasty home-made food after eating in restaurants during the trip.

Fast forward to 2008 February when I was eight months pregnant with NR, I had gestational diabetes. I was in bed rest from 20^th week and we got food from restaurant daily. Gestational diabetics required strict food regiment calculating carbs so CB took over the duty of preparing my daily lunch. He would get up early every day to prepare two big batches of vegetable dishes.   I was pleasantly surprised with his cooking skills. He made my favorite bitter guard or Kovaikai(tindora) masala everyday . I controlled my diabetes with food and never took insulin shots. After pregnancy I leant that bitter guard and tindora are good for diabetes.

After NR’s birth he never cooked. His hands were full being full-time employee and dad. Thanks to my SAHM status,   I fed them well.   And this valentine’s day thanks to NR, he got his groove back. We had planned to go out for dinner but NR decided to take late evening nap. CB happily stepped in to make my favorite breakfast menu for dinner – French toast, egg omelet with onion/tomatoes and hash browns. 

Life does get better when you reach your forties. As a couple you will start reading each other’s feeling so well even before we speak. We were like that from our twenties but with forties I could feel some extra dosage of care and love.

I am planning to induct NR into mama's culinary school as early as possible to get some brownie points from my future daughter-in-law : ).

My first day in US

CB arrived in US two weeks after our first anniversary. I worked for a software firm in India, so I knew the pitfalls of arriving in US with work visa. If  the  US placement is through a consulting firm, you need to share the accommodation with others for first few weeks (or for months for many friends who were not able to get a job within couple of weeks).  And then you can be posted anywhere depending on the clients requests. This works out fine for bachelor’s guys /girls but not for the married/family people. I wanted CB to settle down in his job coz having me with him meant he will have to consider lot of option before accepting a new job. I decided to join him after six months. Meanwhile, I resigned from my job, vacated our first home and moved back with my parents/in-laws for those six months.

 I landed in US on a cold winter night of February, a week before CB’s birthday.  CB relocated to that city just two months before my arrival. He never bothered to buy a car or get a driver’s license. Well having had a car since childhood he never bothered to learn car driving or never used his dad’s car. He made very conscious effort to hide his status and used to commute to college by bus.

 After arriving at the airport, I was searching for him and never recognized him until he came few yards from me. The six-foot tall slim husband I knew six months back had gained tones of weight, had a big belly and his face was twice as big it used to be.  After the initial bear hugs followed by flowers, teddy bear and box of my favorite chocolates we decided to hire the cab from airport.  The cabs are usually outside the airport complex and when we arrived there was no single cab in view. I have never seen a desolate airport like that till today. And Wichita is home to all big air craft companies like Boeing, Cessna and Lear jet.

 We waited for more than 30 minutes outside the cold, dark area for cab arrivals because getting inside airport complex meant we might miss the occasional cab which came to drop passengers. After half an hour we called the cab service to pick us and the cab arrived after 45 minutes. I was numb due to freezing temperature  in spite wearing two jackets.

We arrived at our apartment after what seemed to be an endless drive from airport. Thanks to a sensible husband our apartment was fully furnished.  The warm bath I took after two days of travel and two hours of waiting on the cold cab shelter felt luxurious .

I found the reason behind his weight gain. Our kitchen cabinet had plenty of gallon size ice cream buckets with Indian groceries. He was a kid in candy land surviving solely on chicken/cheese pizza, Fried chicken and gallons of ice cream.

The husband, who never made a cup of tea six month back, had cooked a sumptuous dinner spread with my favorite dishes.

 This is one of  the happiest memories of my life - my first day in US.

Carrier Monkey

I watched the movie - One Fine day  , on cable at my first US apartment  on a remote place ( remote to me at that time since I never saw one desi living in that area) in a remote city . Then my husband was working for an aviation software development firm in the heartland of USA and his colleague HP lived in that apartment who gave him a ride to office everyday. 

There is a scene in a movie one fine day where Melanie's boss looks at her little boy and asks, "Do you know what I think of when I look at him?" Melanie smiles, ready for a compliment but the boss's answers,  "Carrier monkey." I cringed a bit and thought do such Boss/people really exist here?. Now after 14 years or so  and having had a boy after many years of leading a healthy life where we never went to doctors office for fever or cold , I officially declare that toddlers are - CARRIER MONKEYS.

YES,  my son came up with cold, cough and sore throat three days back conveniently on a long weekend when I had plans to do some heavy weight sewing . I had a perfect nanny aka Appa to look after NR for the long weekend to do something I wanted  to stitch. But instead, we spent last weekend taking his temp every one hour and not having any sleep during night. He had mild temp up to 100.8 and are anticipating  another fever episode any time now : (.  I 've started feeling little sick too.

I DVR my favourite shows and watched  them at the only time I get in a day-  night  after 9.30 or 10.00pm when I fold daily laundry or iron my/NR clothes after NR and papa goes to bed.  Last two weeks even that little luxury was taken away from me :( . He refuses to sleep until I join him . 

He hasn't started his school yet and I am already dreading the school days ahead this summer. God please send me a  good house keeper to help me during the sick days along with the  money to afford that keeper. hee hee ,I am sure almost every mother in US says this prayer all too often.

2011- our 20th Valentines day

The ritual of celebrating valentines day started in the year 1992 with two young souls expressing their love for each other with cards and gifts.  They never had any clue how their life is going to be as a couple  and how they'll feel about each other in coming years. I knitted a woollen scarf  feverishly for three weeks as my first valentine's day gift for CB while attending graduate school in 1992. He still has the scarf though I was the one who used  it most of the time.

Life turned good in the relationship department with no extra work done to nurture it. With work and making a life for ourselves in a far away land, it took us long hours, absolute dedication and extra hard work to get to where we are now.  Nothing in life came easy for us including our baby. But with absolute faith in our partnership , mutual respect for each other's feelings, enormous patience and with god's blessing we got everything we wanted in our life.  We took that journey together and still continuing to tackle the challenges holding our hands and hearts together. For last three years another set of tiny hands and precious little heart joined our journey .  I thank god ,every day for this life and asking his guidance at every possible moment.

For this valentines day this is the scene which greeted me when I came downstairs to our kitchen.

This year's  valentines day card

With love to my wife

If you could look into my heart

you' see

All the lovely things

you are to me

All the thoughts

I somehow can't express

About our love, our home,

our happiness

If you could look into my heart,

you'd know

The many reason

Why I love you so

Happy Valentines day to my wife and my little hero.

 

Signed HUBBY

For all youngster who are taking the journey like we did twenty years ago, my only wish is give your best  before thinking about walking away or giving up. There is a special and valid reason you fell in love with each other and stick to that feeling. It's easy to walk away from situation we think are difficult, but it takes immense courage, dedication and patience to stand for the things you believe in, especially your love. You'll never regret it because you will always feel special as the years go by. I am wishing success for all those couples who are celebrating their first valentine's day this year.

Birthday

We celebrated my husband’s birthday this month. It was a low-key affair with just me and NR wishing CB .

Last year I planned a big surprise party with a 22 month old boy in tow.  I invited friends, booked the venue and got hand written birthday wishes from his friends, my friends and family few weeks before his big birthday.  I shopped for birthday decoration few hours before the party and decorated the venue with a help of a friend. I came back home and made entire birthday dinner from my neighbor’s house. I finished everything within four hours of time with  CB not having a clue about his surprise birthday party. I never thought I would be able to pull off  the surprise party without a glitch.  But I did.

This year I planned to make a cake for him. But baking and decorating a cake at  home meant he will see his birthday cake before his birthday. So I got a strawberry mousse cheese cake from store.

We would have missed the cake since it was raining that day and NR decided to sleep when we were about to go out. A friend went shopping for us . When I opened the door to receive my friend , CB pulled up in our driveway  and got a peek into his cake and birthday balloons. This is first year I decided to skip getting him gift . The gifts I got for Christmas is still in the wrapper: ( .  I will not buy “ books as gifts “.

I cooked a simple dinner for us. The day was over with just three of us having a good time. He had  two tiny hands and legs hugging him and giving the best gift for this birthday –Kisses and sweet laughter. And appa was so happy.

Billy Mora aka my appupa

My appupa was a good-looking guy and a very funny man.  He was a man of few words just like NR. NR has his good looks just like his great-grandfather. My grandpa spoke only Malayalam till his death though the majority of his adult life was spent in Tamil Nadu.

 My grandpa came from a well-known family (tharavad) from Aluva, Kerela. There is a hearsay that his grandfather was the first one to study law in Chennai under the orders of then travancore Maharaja. We knew very little about his family back in Aluva , since he migrated to Nagercoil at a very young age after his mother’s death. He worked in police department and went for special duty at Thanumalayan temple during festivals. My ammuma’s (maternal grandmother) father was a top temple official at Thanumalayan temple at that time.

He was car crazy guy just like NR. He had the latest cars like  Morris Minor in those days and my first two periyammas are only witness to his wealth.

I remember the long evening walks I used to take with my appupa from my grandmother house in Saidapet to my eldest periyammas house at Nandanam on the sidewalks of Mount Road in early 1970’s . He had a crooked walk due to an accident. He used to talk to me about things that interest him on the road  like cars on the road. I never used to understand him well since ammuma and younger siblings of my mother who stayed with my grandparents house at that time spoke only tamil most of the time.

In those days , I saw only few cars on the Mount Road but many autorickshaws, rickshaws , bullock carts and  Pallavan Transport buses . I remember a lone traffic police at Mount Road - Nandanam/VenkatNarayana Road intersection. Current Temple tower complex opposite to Housing Board was a huge sunken lot with overgrown grass and it had an old  jeep in an upright position at the rear end of the lot.  During our walks the sight of the old jeep meant we are closer to my periyamma house. I was less than 3 years old at that time and I can still remember everyting so vividly. The overturned jeep and the lot remained the same until the start of the temple tower complex construction .

I remember a funny incident that happened 32-33 yrs back. My grandpa lived with my mom’s eldest sisters after my grandma died. There was a ration shop just next door in a shopping area. That ration shop had a new hire named John. Occasionally my grandpa would go there to buy grocery upon my periyamma’s request. On one such occasion he had bought “Rava” (sooji) and I think it cost around 25 or 50 paisa in those days. Since it is government shop, the clerk (John) has to give receipt with the customer name for each transaction. He asked my grandpa’s name and my grandpa replied “Billy Mora”. His real name was Velayutham Pillai. He brought the receipt home with a name "Billy Mora" and shared the story with my periyamma . It seemed he was so annoyed that for a little change, he had to give his name as if it’s land deed. In his work days, even getting salary didn't involve any paper work  like receipts.

 John was a naïve guy from a remote village in Kanyakumari district starting his life as a provision clerk in government shop. He truly believed my grandpa name was Billy Mora. After few months, John befriended our family since we are also from Kanyakumari district and then knew my grandpa's real name. John worked in the same ration shop even during my Anna university days.

Whenever I heard this story, I thought my grandpa has made up the name “Billy Mora”. But after immigrating to US,  I came to know that this is a real name . I was curious to know -how my grandpa knew this name?  Did he come across somebody with this name or read this name in books?  Kerela has a rich history of Christian missionaries from Europe and South America especially Aluva district. May be he knew somebody with that name.  I wish he was alive to answer these questions. I wish he was alive to see his great-grandson who resemble him in every aspect.

First for me

I watched the live telecast of super bowl for the first time. Well it's the first time I watched football match - an American football that is. I am not a big sports TV viewer but I do love watching Tennis matches when my whole family spend (wasted) their entire weekends watching cricket. Even my periammas born in 1930’s watched cricket like teenagers. I hate to see the entire family in a grumpy mood whenever the Indian team lost the match. I never liked cricket when I was young but understood the spirit of it .

 I decided to join my husband yesterday since I had nothing to do (well there is always loads of work to do but I wasn’t in a mood to do more work on Sunday evening). Yesterday was the first time we watched TV program together when NR was awake. He too joined in and tried to get my attention as much as possible. So I read him books while watching the match. CB explained the rules of the game.

 At my previous work place, we used to have friendly but hard-core rivalry during the civil war matches between Beavers and Ducks. Most of them went to OSU and some of them to UO. The rival team members would sabotage each others office with  their team’s logos. Our office cabins had huge glass walls facing the interior hallway. The PM who had an office just opposite to mine was Beavers fan and my Manager who had an office next to me was a  “Ducks” fan . During one such the civil war season my Manager's windows got a big “Ducks Crossing” sign thanks to his rival Beavers fans. My colleagues talked proudly about their son playing quarterback position in school/college teams.

Yesterday, I realized the reason behind the well coveted, glamorous “Quarterbacks” position in the game. That was also another reason I decided to watch the game. The Greenbay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers went to Whitford Middle School in Beaverton, Oregon the city where we live since 99. And our local TV news station kept talking about Aaron and his Beaverton connection, which made me more curious.

Overall I liked the game. I felt little uneasy watching 200+ lb players forming a human pyramid falling over each other like a pack of sardines. And one more item checked off from my list of things to know/learn. Can somebody teach how to play poker and Texas hold’em?

 My son’s first time seeing us watch TV for more than 15 minutes when he was awake (we do regularly watch BBC and news for 10 -15 minutes during the weekends when he is around) .  And I couldn’t wait for him to grow up, so things would get back to normal phase of life for us.  

 BTW, can somebody please explain to me?

• 
  
   Who came up with the name “football” when players use only their hands 95% of the time?


• 
  
  Why on earth they call super bowl a world championship game when they only play against  US teams?

Special Education Week - Day 7

We got Reader's Digest delivered monthly along with Soviet Woman. I learnt about first female astronaut Valentina Tereshkova thru Soviet woman magazine  and aspired study space science. My recollection of collectibles was from Soviet Woman. I used to dream as little kid  to own all those lovely looking dolls with their ethnic russian costume.

RD was my "GOOGLE" in those days. I read real-life stories from world, western philosophy and lifestyles. I loved reading RD and I still do. I loved every column especially the inspiring life stories they featured regularly. When you are young you see parents around you setting expectations for their kids. Lot of them pushed their kids and some of them physically abused them. I never used to understand the anger and wrath they cause on their children. I used to hate seeing kids in my neighbourhood thrashed daily in the name of discipline claiming it is for the welfare of the children. I never understood why then and  even now.  Even at that young age I observed the shame in their eyes . They never wanted to look at you or talk to you even when they know you are their best friend. I am thankful for having a parents who never set any expectation for us .  They allowed us to make every choice in our life and never interfered in our academic choices. They neither celebrated our victories nor put us down for failing.  

When I was in high school I read an article about parenting in Readers Digest and  these lines stayed with me forever "As a parents I have no right to judge my kids or get angry at them.  When I think of the all experiences they brought to my life and realise how they enriched my life , I am thankful that I have them as my children in my life."  And every parent with special needs kids has the same view  like the author of the RD article.

When you are calm and quiet you can focus on things around you and observe.  And you will learn to respect people and their feeling well and never offend others with words or actions.  Though failure might come our way, we will be truly loved, cherished and respected by friends and family.  

Everybody is given a  choice to use kind words and inspire people with their goodness. Wecan make a decision to use that kindness more to special needs kids /adults.  The special needs community has only one request - DON'T JUDGE. .  Unkind words and  judgement  might prevent any kids from what they would be in their future.

Last in my special education week series, I present Nick Vujicic. If he is not going to inspire you , I don't think any body will

If you are blessed with kids who can talk to say I love you, run to you when you come home  and  hug you to make you feel their love,  go hug them and say "Thank you"  , thank you for all the  joys they bring to us.

Special Education Week - Day 6

An inspirational story of Dick & Rick Hoyt, the most inspirational father and son team to race in an Ironman. We get inspired by the end result but imagine the hours and years of hard work and dedication of his parents. Parents loving their children with all their heart with unconditional love and believing in purpose of their kid's life on this earth.  We  can all  inspire our children only if we believe in them with unconditional love.

Team Hoyt (source : http://www.teamhoyt.com/)

The Early Years

Rick was born in 1962 to Dick and Judy Hoyt. As a result of oxygen deprivation to Rick's brain at the time of his birth, Rick was diagnosed as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. Dick and Judy were advised to institutionalize Rick because there was no chance of him recovering, and little hope for Rick to live a "normal" life. This was just the beginning of Dick and Judy's quest for Rick's inclusion in community, sports, education and one day, the workplace.

Dick and Judy soon realized that though Rick couldn't walk or speak; he was quite astute and his eyes would follow them around the room. They fought to integrate Rick into the public school system, pushing administrators to see beyond Rick's physical limitations. Dick and Judy would take Rick sledding and swimming, and even taught him the alphabet and basic words, like any other child. After providing concrete evidence of Rick's intellect and ability to learn like everyone else, Dick and Judy needed to find a way to help Rick communicate for himself. More...

With $5,000 in 1972 and a skilled group of engineers at Tufts University, an interactive computer was built for Rick. This computer consisted of a cursor being used to highlight every letter of the alphabet. Once the letter Rick wanted was highlighted, he was able to select it by just a simple tap with his head against a head piece attached to his wheelchair. When the computer was originally first brought home, Rick surprised everyone with his first words. Instead of saying, "Hi, Mom," or "Hi, Dad," Rick's first "spoken" words were: "Go, Bruins!" The Boston Bruins were in the Stanley Cup finals that season. It was clear from that moment on, that Rick loved sports and followed the game just like anyone else.

In 1975, at the age of 13, Rick was finally admitted into public school. After high school, Rick attended Boston University, and he graduated with a degree in Special Education in 1993. Dick retired in 1995 as a Lt. Colonel from the Air National Guard, after serving his country for 37 years.

The Beginning of Team Hoyt

In the spring of 1977, Rick told his father that he wanted to participate in a 5-mile benefit run for a Lacrosse player who had been paralyzed in an accident. Far from being a long-distance runner, Dick agreed to push Rick in his wheelchair and they finished all 5 miles, coming in next to last. That night, Rick told his father, "Dad, when I'm running, it feels like I'm not handicapped."

This realization was just the beginning of what would become over 1,000 races completed, including marathons, duathlons and triathlons (6 of them being Ironman competitions). Also adding to their list of achievements, Dick and Rick biked and ran across the U.S. in 1992, completing a full 3,735 miles in 45 days. More...

In a triathlon, Dick will pull Rick in a boat with a bungee cord attached to a vest around his waist and to the front of the boat for the swimming stage. For the biking stage, Rick will ride a special two-seater bicycle, and then Dick will push Rick in his custom made running chair (for the running stage).

Rick was once asked, if he could give his father one thing, what would it be? Rick responded, "The thing I'd most like is for my dad to sit in the chair and I would push him for once."

The 2009 Boston Marathon was officially Team Hoyt's 1000th race. Rick always says if it comes down to doing one race a year he would like it to be the Boston Marathon: his favorite race. Dick Hoyt hopes that he is able to push Rick in the Boston Marathon when he is 70 years old (2011)! Neither Dick or Rick are ready to retire yet.

Watch this inspirational Video

Special Education Week - Day 5

Another inspirational story about professor Stephen Hawking who has ALS.  Lot of ignorant people might have judged him as a little boy not able to play ball or do any physical activities because he looked normal. Yet he believed in himself. The keyword to his success is believe in yourself.  To all my readers who are going through some tough phase in your life  and people voluntarily or involuntarily making you feel depressed or putting you down with their ignorant, uneducated judgement  , please believe in yourself. Every  good deed is achievable only if you believe in yourself.

Professor Stephen Hawking (Source: http://www.hawking.org.uk/index.php/about-stephen).

I am quite often asked: How do you feel about having ALS? The answer is, not a lot. I try to lead as normal a life as possible, and not think about my condition, or regret the things it prevents me from doing, which are not that many.

It was a great shock to me to discover that I had motor neurone disease. I had never been very well co-ordinated physically as a child. I was not good at ball games, and my handwriting was the despair of my teachers. Maybe for this reason, I didn't care much for sport or physical activities. But things seemed to change when I went to Oxford, at the age of 17. I took up coxing and rowing. I was not Boat Race standard, but I got by at the level of inter-College competition.

In my third year at Oxford, however, I noticed that I seemed to be getting more clumsy, and I fell over once or twice for no apparent reason. But it was not until I was at Cambridge, in the following year, that my father noticed, and took me to the family doctor. He referred me to a specialist, and shortly after my 21st birthday, I went into hospital for tests. I was in for two weeks, during which I had a wide variety of tests. They took a muscle sample from my arm, stuck electrodes into me, and injected some radio opaque fluid into my spine, and watched it going up and down with x-rays, as they tilted the bed. After all that, they didn't tell me what I had, except that it was not multiple sclerosis, and that I was an a-typical case. I gathered, however, that they expected it to continue to get worse, and that there was nothing they could do, except give me vitamins. I could see that they didn't expect them to have much effect. I didn't feel like asking for more details, because they were obviously bad.

The realisation that I had an incurable disease, that was likely to kill me in a few years, was a bit of a shock. How could something like that happen to me? Why should I be cut off like this? However, while I had been in hospital, I had seen a boy I vaguely knew die of leukaemia, in the bed opposite me. It had not been a pretty sight. Clearly there were people who were worse off than me. At least my condition didn't make me feel sick. Whenever I feel inclined to be sorry for myself I remember that boy.

Not knowing what was going to happen to me, or how rapidly the disease would progress, I was at a loose end. The doctors told me to go back to Cambridge and carry on with the research I had just started in general relativity and cosmology. But I was not making much progress, because I didn't have much mathematical background. And, anyway, I might not live long enough to finish my PhD. I felt somewhat of a tragic character. I took to listening to Wagner, but reports in magazine articles that I drank heavily are an exaggeration. The trouble is once one article said it, other articles copied it, because it made a good story. People believe that anything that has appeared in print so many times must be true.

My dreams at that time were rather disturbed. Before my condition had been diagnosed, I had been very bored with life. There had not seemed to be anything worth doing. But shortly after I came out of hospital, I dreamt that I was going to be executed. I suddenly realised that there were a lot of worthwhile things I could do if I were reprieved. Another dream, that I had several times, was that I would sacrifice my life to save others. After all, if I were going to die anyway, it might as well do some good. But I didn't die. In fact, although there was a cloud hanging over my future, I found, to my surprise, that I was enjoying life in the present more than before. I began to make progress with my research, and I got engaged to a girl called Jane Wilde, whom I had met just about the time my condition was diagnosed. That engagement changed my life. It gave me something to live for. But it also meant that I had to get a job if we were to get married. I therefore applied for a research fellowship at Gonville and Caius (pronounced Keys) college, Cambridge. To my great surprise, I got a fellowship, and we got married a few months later.

The fellowship at Caius took care of my immediate employment problem. I was lucky to have chosen to work in theoretical physics, because that was one of the few areas in which my condition would not be a serious handicap. And I was fortunate that my scientific reputation increased, at the same time that my disability got worse. This meant that people were prepared to offer me a sequence of positions in which I only had to do research, without having to lecture.

We were also fortunate in housing. When we were married, Jane was still an undergraduate at Westfield College in London, so she had to go up to London during the week. This meant that we had to find somewhere I could manage on my own, and which was central, because I could not walk far. I asked the College if they could help, but was told by the then Bursar: it is College policy not to help Fellows with housing. We therefore put our name down to rent one of a group of new flats that were being built in the market place. (Years later, I discovered that those flats were actually owned by the College, but they didn't tell me that.) However, when we returned to Cambridge from a visit to America after the marriage, we found that the flats were not ready. As a great concession, the Bursar said we could have a room in a hostel for graduate students. He said, "We normally charge 12 shillings and 6 pence a night for this room. However, as there will be two of you in the room, we will charge 25 shillings." We stayed there only three nights. Then we found a small house about 100 yards from my university department. It belonged to another College, who had let it to one of its fellows. However he had moved out to a house he had bought in the suburbs. He sub-let the house to us for the remaining three months of his lease. During those three months, we found that another house in the same road was standing empty. A neighbour summoned the owner from Dorset, and told her that it was a scandal that her house should be empty, when young people were looking for accommodation. So she let the house to us. After we had lived there for a few years, we wanted to buy the house, and do it up. So we asked my College for a mortgage. However, the College did a survey, and decided it was not a good risk. In the end we got a mortgage from a building society, and my parents gave us the money to do it up. We lived there for another four years, but it became too difficult for me to manage the stairs. By this time, the College appreciated me rather more, and there was a different Bursar. They therefore offered us a ground floor flat in a house that they owned. This suited me very well, because it had large rooms and wide doors. It was sufficiently central that I could get to my University department, or the College, in my electric wheel chair. It was also nice for our three children, because it was surrounded by garden, which was looked after by the College gardeners.

Up to 1974, I was able to feed myself, and get in and out of bed. Jane managed to help me, and bring up the children, without outside help. However, things were getting more difficult, so we took to having one of my research students living with us. In return for free accommodation, and a lot of my attention, they helped me get up and go to bed. In 1980, we changed to a system of community and private nurses, who came in for an hour or two in the morning and evening. This lasted until I caught pneumonia in 1985. I had to have a tracheotomy operation. After this, I had to have 24 hour nursing care. This was made possible by grants from several foundations.

Before the operation, my speech had been getting more slurred, so that only a few people who knew me well, could understand me. But at least I could communicate. I wrote scientific papers by dictating to a secretary, and I gave seminars through an interpreter, who repeated my words more clearly. However, the tracheotomy operation removed my ability to speak altogether. For a time, the only way I could communicate was to spell out words letter by letter, by raising my eyebrows when someone pointed to the right letter on a spelling card. It is pretty difficult to carry on a conversation like that, let alone write a scientific paper. However, a computer expert in California, called Walt Woltosz, heard of my plight. He sent me a computer program he had written, called Equalizer. This allowed me to select words from a series of menus on the screen, by pressing a switch in my hand. The program could also be controlled by a switch, operated by head or eye movement. When I have built up what I want to say, I can send it to a speech synthesizer. At first, I just ran the Equalizer program on a desk top computer.

However David Mason, of Cambridge Adaptive Communication, fitted a small portable computer and a speech synthesizer to my wheel chair. This system allowed me to communicate much better than I could before. I can manage up to 15 words a minute. I can either speak what I have written, or save it to disk. I can then print it out, or call it back and speak it sentence by sentence. Using this system, I have written a book, and dozens of scientific papers. I have also given many scientific and popular talks. They have all been well received. I think that is in a large part due to the quality of the speech synthesiser, which is made by Speech Plus. One's voice is very important. If you have a slurred voice, people are likely to treat you as mentally deficient: Does he take sugar? This synthesiser is by far the best I have heard, because it varies the intonation, and doesn't speak like a Dalek. The only trouble is that it gives me an American accent.

I have had motor neurone disease for practically all my adult life. Yet it has not prevented me from having a very attractive family, and being successful in my work. This is thanks to the help I have received from Jane, my children, and a large number of other people and organisations. I have been lucky, that my condition has progressed more slowly than is often the case. But it shows that one need not lose hope.



 Sourece : http://www.hawking.org.uk/index.php/disability

Special Education Week - Day 3

I had very tough day last september dealing with NR with high fever and he was not willing to eat or drink fluids. I was so tired, sad and scary and went into little depressed mode thinking about the all challenges ahead of us. I switched on the TV, when NR took his afternoon nap and this programs comes in discovery channel.  Parents with unconditional love . It was such an inspirational story , I was so determined not to lose focus and never to lose my positive attitude not even for a minute.  When these parents can do an amazing job , our challenges with NR are nothing compared to this little amazing girl.  I always believed that god gives me experiences in life which I can handle .  You can watch the video here

Local Family Has Daughter Born Without a Face

Tom holds his daughter, Juliana

Tammy

Juliana is missing 30-40% of the bones in her face.

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By Jeannie Blaylock, First Coast News

JACKSONVILLE, FL -- When most parents have a baby, they spend months dreaming about what their bundle of joy will look like. Will she look like mom? Will he have dad's eyes? But for one local Navy family, the birth of their daughter didn't give them the answers to those questions. Their daughter was born without a face.

When Tammy was pregnant, she knew something was wrong. At worst, they thought maybe their baby had a cleft lip. So Tammy and her husband Tom went to the hospital happy until the birth.

"The nurse is like, 'We got her stable, we need to rush her upstairs,'" explains Tom, as he recalls every minute of that day. "And the nurse asked, 'Do you want your wife to see her now?'"

Tom says he thought to himself, "Before she gets the shock I did, let me take a picture so she's prepared."

Tammy hadn't seen her new baby yet, because she almost bled to death during delivery. Tammy would be okay, meanwhile, dad went to take pictures of his new daughter. But no matter what, these new parents had a wish.

"That if there was something wrong, she wouldn't be alone. We wanted to make sure she felt loved," said Tom, as he began to cry. "She squeezed my hand."

Little Juliana is missing 30 - 40 percent of the bones in her face. "She has no upper jaw, no cheek bones, no eye sockets, and she's missing the corner of her ear," explains Tom. Her birth defect is called Treacher Collins Syndrome.

Doctors say it's the worst case they've ever seen. So, how do you get people to see past all the defects, and find her heart? For mom, it just hurts.

"I just wish people would ask questions. Don't just stare," says Tammy. "I guess the most hurtful thing came not long ago, a little girl said she was disgusting."

Juliana has to eat through her stomach, and she has a trach to breathe. Already, less than two years into her life, she's had 14 surgeries. Doctors say she could need at least 30 more. Every time she goes to the hospital, doctors make a mold of her head, and then reconstruct her skull to figure out the next step. It's a life-long process that's draining for Tammy and Tom. Even still, they're thankful and full of love for their sweet child.

"God never gives you more than you can handle. I figure she has a lot to show everyone... to show the world," says Tom.

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Special Education week - Day 2

My friend posted this story on FB this monday.  Hardwork and determination from Naga naresh ,some good encouragement from parents and peers and kindness and generosity from the society are key elements in this success story.

The following articles is from http://www.funenclave.com/motivational-zone/naga-naresh-karutura-fighter-banks-godavari-20773.html

Naga Naresh Karutura : A fighter from the banks of Godavari to Google

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Naga Naresh Karutura has just passed out of IIT Madras in Computer Science and has joined Google in Bangalore. You may ask, what's so special about this 21-year-old when there are hundreds of students passing out from various IITs and joining big companies like Google?

Read why Naresh is special and what makes him feel that he is lucky.

Ever smiling, optimistic and full of spirit; that is Naresh. He says, "God has always been planning things for me. That is why I feel I am lucky."

Childhood in a village
I spent the first seven years of my life in Teeparru, a small village in Andhra Pradesh, on the banks of the river Godavari. My father Prasad was a lorry driver and my mother Kumari, a house wife. Though they were illiterate, my parents instilled in me and my elder sister (Sirisha) the importance of studying.

Looking back, one thing that surprises me now is the way my father taught me when I was in the 1st and 2nd standards. My father would ask me questions from the text book, and I would answer them. At that time, I didn't know he could not read or write but to make me happy, he helped me in my studies! Another memory that doesn't go away is the floods in the village and how I was carried on top of a buffalo by my uncle. I also remember plucking fruits from a tree that was full of thorns.

I used to be very naughty, running around and playing all the time with my friends. I used to get a lot of scolding for disturbing the elders who slept in the afternoon. The moment they started scolding, I would run away to the fields! I also remember finishing my school work fast in class and sleeping on the teacher's lap!

January 11, 1993, the fateful day
On the January 11, 1993 when we had the sankranti holidays, my mother took my sister and me to a nearby village for a family function. From there we were to go with our grandmother to our native place. But my grandmother did not come there. As there were no buses that day, my mother took a lift in my father's friend's lorry. As there were many people in the lorry, he made me sit next to him, close to the door.

It was my fault; I fiddled with the door latch and it opened wide throwing me out. As I fell, my legs got cut by the iron rods protruding from the lorry. Nothing happened to me except scratches on my legs. The accident had happened just in front of a big private hospital but they refused to treat me saying it was an accident case. Then a police constable who was passing by took us to a government hospital.

First I underwent an operation as my small intestine got twisted. The doctors also bandaged my legs. I was there for a week. When the doctors found that gangrene had developed and it had reached up to my knees, they asked my father to take me to a district hospital. There, the doctors scolded my parents a lot for neglecting the wounds and allowing the gangrene to develop. But what could my ignorant parents do?

In no time, both my legs were amputated up to the hips. I remember waking up and asking my mother, where are my legs? I also remember that my mother cried when I asked the question. I was in the hospital for three months.

Life without legs
I don't think my life changed dramatically after I lost both my legs. Because all at home were doting on me, I was enjoying all the attention rather than pitying myself. I was happy that I got a lot of fruits and biscuits.

The day I reached my village, my house was flooded with curious people; all of them wanted to know how a boy without legs looked. But I was not bothered; I was happy to see so many of them coming to see me, especially my friends! All my friends saw to it that I was part of all the games they played; they carried me everywhere.

God's hand
I believe in God. I believe in destiny. I feel he plans everything for you. If not for the accident, we would not have moved from the village to Tanuku, a town. There I joined a missionary school, and my father built a house next to the school. Till the tenth standard, I studied in that school.

If I had continued in Teeparu, I may not have studied after the 10th. I may have started working as a farmer or someone like that after my studies. I am sure God had other plans for me.

My sister, my friend
When the school was about to reopen, my parents moved from Teeparu to Tanuku, a town, and admitted both of us in a Missionary school. They decided to put my sister also in the same class though she is two years older. They thought she could take care of me if both of us were in the same class. My sister never complained.

She would be there for everything. Many of my friends used to tell me, you are so lucky to have such a loving sister. There are many who do not care for their siblings. She carried me in the school for a few years and after a while, my friends took over the task. When I got the tricycle, my sister used to push me around in the school.

My life, I would say, was normal, as everyone treated me like a normal kid. I never wallowed in self-pity. I was a happy boy and competed with others to be on top and the others also looked at me as a competitor.

Inspiration
I was inspired by two people when in school; my Maths teacher Pramod Lal who encouraged me to participate in various local talent tests, and a brilliant boy called Chowdhary, who was my senior.

When I came to know that he had joined Gowtham Junior College to prepare for IIT-JEE, it became my dream too. I was school first in 10th scoring 542/600. Because I topped in the state exams, Gowtham Junior College waived the fee for me. Pramod Sir's recommendation also helped. The fee was around Rs 50,000 per year, which my parents could never afford.

Moving to a residential school
Living in a residential school was a big change for me because till then my life centred around home and school and I had my parents and sister to take care of all my needs. It was the first time that I was interacting with society. It took one year for me to adjust to the new life.

There, my inspiration was a boy called K K S Bhaskar who was in the top 10 in IIT-JEE exams. He used to come to our school to encourage us. Though my parents didn't know anything about Gowtham Junior School or IIT, they always saw to it that I was encouraged in whatever I wanted to do. If the results were good, they would praise me to the skies and if bad, they would try to see something good in that. They did not want me to feel bad.

They are such wonderful supportive parents.

Life at IIT- Madras
Though my overall rank in the IIT-JEE was not that great (992), I was 4th in the physically handicapped category. So, I joined IIT, Madras to study Computer Science.

Here, my role model was Karthik who was also my senior in school. I looked up to him during my years at IIT- Madras. He had asked for attached bathrooms for those with special needs before I came here itself. So, when I came here, the room had attached bath. He used to help me and guide me a lot when I was here.

I evolved as a person in these four years, both academically and personally. It has been a great experience studying here. The people I was interacting with were so brilliant that I felt privileged to sit along with them in the class. Just by speaking to my lab mates, I gained a lot.

Words are inadequate to express my gratitude to Prof Pandurangan and all my lab mates; all were simply great. I was sent to Boston along with four others for our internship by Prof Pandurangan. It was a great experience.

Joining Google R&D
I did not want to pursue PhD as I wanted my parents to take rest now.
Morgan Stanley selected me first but I preferred Google because I wanted to work in pure computer science, algorithms and game theory.

I am lucky
Do you know why I say I am lucky?

I get help from total strangers without me asking for it. Once after my second year at IIT, I with some of my friends was travelling in a train for a conference. We met a kind gentleman called Sundar in the train, and he has been taking care of my hostel fees from then on.

I have to mention about Jaipur foot. I had Jaipur foot when I was in 3rd standard. After two years, I stopped using them. As I had almost no stems on my legs, it was very tough to tie them to the body. I found walking with Jaipur foot very, very slow. Sitting also was a problem. I found my tricycle faster because I am one guy who wants to do things faster.

One great thing about the hospital is, they don't think their role ends by just fixing the Jaipur foot; they arrange for livelihood for all. They asked me what help I needed from them. I told them at that time, if I got into an IIT, I needed financial help from them. So, from the day I joined IIT, Madras, my fees were taken care of by them. So, my education at the IIT was never a burden on my parents and they could take care of my sister's Nursing studies.

Surprise awaited me at IIT
After my first year, when I went home, two things happened here at the Institute without my knowledge.

I got a letter from my department that they had arranged a lift and ramps at the department for me. It also said that if I came a bit early and checked whether it met with my requirements, it would be good.

Second surprise was, the Dean, Prof Idichandy and the Students General Secretary, Prasad had located a place that sold powered wheel chairs. The cost was Rs 55,000. What they did was, they did not buy the wheel chair; they gave me the money so that the wheel chair belonged to me and not the institute.

My life changed after that. I felt free and independent. That's why I say I am lucky. God has planned things for me and takes care of me at every step.

The world is full of good people
I also feel if you are motivated and show some initiative, people around you will always help you. I also feel there are more good people in society than bad ones. I want all those who read this to feel that if Naresh can achieve something in life, you can too.