Happy New year 2011

Wishing my readers

" A very Happy, Healthy, Peaceful and Prosperous New year 2011".

Listen to this beautiful  poem written by great tamil poet Bharathiyar that consolidates  my new year wish every year since childhood.  Especially this year where we need  extra strength  and patience to deal with all challenges ahead with peace and prayers.

Manathil uruthi vendum song sung by K.J.Yesudoss in the movie Sindhu Bhairavi.

Translation of the poem " Manathil uruthi Vendum"  in english ( Source: http://audiopoetry.wordpress.com/2006/01/18/manathil-urudhi-vendum)

Let the mind be firm
Let the speech be sweet
Let the thoughts be noble
Let one attain what’s dear
Let all dreams come true
And quickly, too
Let there be wealth and happiness
And fame in this world
Let the eyes be open
Let one be determined in achieving one’s goals
Let the women attain freedom
Let God protect us all
Let the land be fertile
Let us feel the heaven here
Let the Truth prevail
Om Om Om Om

And I am grateful to know the Tamil language to understand appreciate this great poet's words.

PS: I know that a few people from my family and handful of friends read this blog regularly .  If you are a reader of this blog who doesn't come under family and friends group , can you please delurk and say hello.  Getting a "hello" from new blog  friends would be a fantastic way to welcome 2011.

2010 Thanksgiving Weekend

We had a quite thanksgiving weekend and NR took over CB and owned him for the five days.  I get a warm and special feeling seeing NR hug and kiss his dad with absolute love and affection.

 The first-born kids are the luckiest one to get the full attention of their parents. Sometimes it lasts way beyond their childhood well into their forties. My elder sister always pretended that she is the only child of my parents. And even now in her forties acts the same.

 Before NR's birth, we went twice for the early bird Thanksgiving shopping specials. A group of friends (well guys for that sake) would sort out a plan for shopping with list of things to buy. I reluctantly accompanied my husband twice and I did not like the mayhem. When everybody ran to pick out the stuff, I froze seeing frenzied people all around me. It was worse than rush for metro water in Chennai during peak summer.  CB and I are notoriously famous for skipping such shopping for a good sleep on our warm bed.

 This year CB went for the early bird special to replace the Garmin GPS that went to Good will.  He is the one who took the stuff to Good will stores including the GPS. I made breakfast for us and decided to go for Christmas shopping in the mall to buy gifts for family and friends. I have never gone for shopping without CB and hesitated a bit.  I passed the mall daily during my commute to office but never once went there alone. CB forced me to go out since I can do shopping peacefully without having to worry about returning home for NR’s lunch and nap.  

For the first time I went thru the ads from previous day paper and chose things I wanted to get. And I took the ads with me which made shopping a breeze. Within three hours, I was back home and it was a successful trip except for the long line at the counter. I bought entire winter wardrobe for NR. He is getting taller by the day and I had to replace his wardrobe every three to 4 months. But in between shopping we have no way but to make him wear his 3/4th height Jeans/pants like MGR . I wish my younger sister who loves to shop for NR is here with me.

Though it ‘s personally boring to shop for boys , it's also quick and easy with  limited choice of colors (black, blue, khaki, grey, brown, few more shades of khaki ) and prints (checked, stripes, or solid).  Most of the time, I go the girls section and drool at the collection. Sigh ……

While driving back I realized this might be the new reality that I ‘ll have to go shopping alone during the thanksgiving sales in future too,  having two guys who are happy to do their stuff instead of shopping with me.  I don’t envision NR and his dad waiting patiently while I picked their wardrobe.

 

Back to normal programming

After 12 miserable days of NR having  terrible cough, sore throat, Ear infection, 102 degree fever along with unbearable teething pain (thanks to 4 molars coming one after another) , Appa and Amma getting flu-like fever and symptoms , normalcy has returned .   

We visited ped twice before this episode and he dismissed all the symptoms and send us home like usual without any medication. NR came down with 101 +  fever the very next day .  On fourth day he cried inconsolably and  I know something was not right. We took him to the immediate care and the dr there confirmed his ear infection and chest congestion.

This is the first ear infection for NR and dr prescribed antibiotics,steroids and some antihistamine.  Along with his Acetaminophen and Ibuprofen dosage every three hours to bring down his fever, he had to take antibiotics thrice a day , steroids and antihistamine once a day. 

We woke  NR  every three hours for the first three days to check his temp and to give fever medication. The boy woke up from his sleep every three hours and thanks to IPAD took his medication happily without crying like it's was a sweet syrup. He royally browsed all his "You tube" videos and played his fave apps on IPAD while taking his medications. And for the first time he drank his water without spitting . 

NR behaves well (no crying) during his hair cut once a month(I give him haircut every month), Dr visits, birthday parties and in every situation imaginable thanks to IPAD .   They drew blood from his tiny arm three months back for almost ten - 13 minutes. He cried a bit but IPAD was such a great distraction. The dr and nurses at our clinic are amazed at the way he uses his spelling app.  

He had high fever and it was so cold and rainy outside  when we took him to immediate care. He was so quiet and behaved well (with his teething pain) because he played his fave spelling app. The dr at the Urgent Care admired NR's IPAD skills and said he sees  bright future for NR.   Little did they know,  how IPAD has taken the stress out of dr visit for his parents.  We remember well how our dr visits used to go without IPAD.  And for this I want to hug and kiss every member of the IPAD team at apple. So are millions of people benefiting from this technology. As a couple who work in leading technologies,  we know how technology is helping /reaching out to kids with special needs.  They have beautiful and cool apps for art, music for toddlers which also helps kids with Sensory Integration disorder who are not interested to use finger paints .

And he uses IPAD like a pro . No I did not teach him even once how to get into you tube or navigate the list up down or horizontally or close the songs. The only thing he  hasn't figured out is how to power on the IPAD unlike his toys . Whenever I  played devotional songs on IPAD  YouTube app, before nap or bed time, I hid my hand movements because I don't want to lose yet another gadget to my 2 year old son.  Only once I showed him how to use one his favorite spelling app on IPAD. He is bloody quick in learning stuff which interests him  and all I have to do is just show him once that's it. But he has no interest  to do normal everyday stuff like eating on his own or drinking water like a civilised baby without shooting it out every single time or communicating his needs. I am waiting patiently for the day when he will start talking again. Emm, And I thought I had immense patience before NR's birth .  He is making me a "ZEN mama".

During day time, we had Diego and Dora film festival for all those 12 days . The boy who is allowed to watch TV for half an hour for lunch and dinner had a field day. Well, even when the whole family is  sick somebody has to make meals, feed and do the everyday chores right.? I can hold the whiny sick baby or do chores.When both needs my attention, TV saves me.  It takes a village to raise a kid and we seek TV's help when he is sick . And as a parent we  have no problem with it. And this is the fourth time we had this non stop running of Diego and Dora episodes this year.  Please God, let this be the last Diego and Dora film festival for this year and I wouldn't  mind skipping the film festival entirely for next year.  For a kid with febrile seizure fever episodes are nightmare for the parents. And we wish to skip that altogether. New year wish from NR and NR's desperate parents.

Little Latin sensation

Check out this amazing dance performance by two cute little dancers

http://www.facebookvideodown.com/waka-waka-amazing-version--35246.html

Oregon and OPB (Oregon Public Broadcasting) - Part Two

 My father ran a free library as a youth. So we had lots of book on American and Russian history. All the books were translated in Tamil. It was thru my father library books, I learnt about Rasputin (it had couple of illustration of  half naked Russian women .So I never read that book in front my dad) . BTW, do you guys remember this famous BoneyM number Rasputin. We had a good collection of Boney M and Abba tapes when we bought our first tape recorder  in 19 78 or 1979.

We had this huge book titled “Origone Vazhi Pathai”  (Oregon Trail).  I read every book from my father’s library during summer holidays especially during my elementary years. Never in a million years, had I imagined that Portland, Oregon will become my home away from home. When we moved to Portland, Oregon, I read many books on Oregon Trail and visited Oregon Trail Interpretive center in Baker city, Oregon.

 I read about Lewis and Clark expedition and about the famous Native Indian woman named Sacagawea. When we see this famous landmark Beacon rock on Columbia River, I recollect Lewis and Clark passage thru this rock in 1805. Last week OPB aired very interesting documentary “spirit of sacagawea” . This film gave a fresh view on Sacagawea’s life as young girl accompanying Lewis and Clark thru the eyes of Native American people.

I read this book Columbia River Basketry: Gift of the Ancestors, Gift of the Earth by Mary Dodds Schlick in 1999 . Few years back Art Beat aired program on Mary Dodds Schlick. I wish to meet her in person someday.

OPB aired program on Samuel Hill (1857–1931), founder of Maryhill Museum of Art, and the man responsible for constructing the historic Maryhill Loops Road(http://www.maryhillmuseum.org/loops.html). The first macadam asphalt-paved road in the Pacific Northwest was constructed in 1909- 1913. Every time we plan to visit this museum something else would come up. This July 4^th weekend we were all set to start only to find that our new spanking Garmin GPS was missing. Later on (after a month or so) I realized that I kept the GPS on one of the decorative bowls along with other ceramic wares bound for Good will store this summer.  I think that CB’s christmas present was meant to be donated to Good will store : ).

Thanks to OPB I am learning lot about the my city Portland, oregon, My home sweet home. When you guys get time  check out OPB archives thru these two links.

http://watch.opb.org/

http://watch.opb.org/morevideos.html

Oregon and OPB (Oregon Public Broadcasting) - Part One

I love PBS. I love to (used to) watch PBS non stop on weekends. PBS reminds me of my initial days in US in Kansas and Idaho. It was the happiest time of my life as a new bride in new country with a laid back life style. I was so busy with work and school in Chennai so the first year in US was so relaxing being a housewife. I learnt to cook from dozens of Indian cookbooks I’d carried all the way from India. I started to experiment with International cuisine watching PBS cooking shows.

 

PBS kindled the artist in me. I resumed  painting after a long gap. I learnt to sew thanks to the quilting shows. I love their ad free programming. I love our local chapter OPB (Oregon Public Broadcasting) especially the “Art Beat” , “Oregon Field guide “ programs. We planned our weekend getaways (pre baby) based on the Oregon locations featured on that program. Their programs have unbiased views on religion, politics and world affairs.

I have special interest in programs based/filmed in India the latest being “The story of India”. Though I am familiar with history of India, this program narrated the history around the world along with incidents happened in India at that time.

I learn about current trends in arts (different mediums) thru Art Beat program, the latest being one of a kind photographic art. by the artist Natasha Bacca.  I feel very fortunate to live in a state which has great artists, restaurants, outdoors, good mix of cultures from all around the world and friendly people.  

 We organize summer picnics with friend’s  at Hagg Lake every year. It’s just a 30 minutes drive from home. This summer, I watched a program about the Hagg lake expansion to cater the growing needs of the population. When the expansion project completes, the places we drove around and the land we walked would be under water  I feel like a part of history being made and I might narrate this story to my grand kids someday.

I learnt the history behind my neighbourhood’s(Forest park) lush green forest trails and bike path watching this program Forest Park: Portland backyard gem. The current residents of Portland are enjoying this beautiful place thanks to the pioneers who thought about land use for future generation .

**PBS: Public Broadcasting Service

I love PBS

No , I am not talking about  Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) but the famous film play back singer P.B. Srinivas.I love his honey laced voice. I think it’s PBS voice which gave the (in)famous tamil actor Gemini Ganesan  his title “ Kadal Mannan” (Romance King).

If you walk past my house everyday , you’ll  most probably hear his music playing in the CD. If I am not at home you might bump into Meat loaf, Nazareth, or soft rock hits from  1960 -99 era. But we both like P. B. Srinivas . Thank god I fell in love with a guy who speaks the same language.

After my formal engagement ceremony in ’96 , we started going out to restaurant once or twice week for dinner after work . CB used to pick me up from my office in Numgambakkam High Road, Chennai. We frequented Woodlands Drive-In restaurant in Chennai due to proximity to my office and for their delicious “Channa Bathura”. I had the first taste of channa bathura at Woodland’s restaurant. We always sat next to the table where P. B. Srinivas used to sit. He was a regular visitor and we saw him every single time . He was always busy writing or reading so never thought of approaching him. I missed a golden opportunity to talk in person with my favorite singer.  I never had big urge (fanfare) with my favorite singers at that time but now I do. Either my life in US or becoming a mom brought that change. If I ever see him now , I would run to him like a crazy teenager wanting to get his autograph.

His voice captivates every generation in my family right from my grandmother, my mom and her sisters and brothers ,my sister and her daughter and me and NR. I was pleasantly surprised to hear my five years old niece singing P. B. Srinivas hits when I visited her in 1999 from US. They moved from Karnataka to Tamil Nadu just a few months back before my visit. So, my niece had no chance of hearing old tamil songs in the radio. Within few months she learnt the lyrics just by listening to his songs in TV and would sing along with us.

Though we used to hear lot of tamil and hindi songs from Radio I wasn’t familiar with every play back singer’s name or the movie exception being some hindi songs . My mom used to tell us the name of the singer so I got familiar with Mukesh, Dilip kumar and other hindi singers.

My first introduction to P.B. Srinivas came during my middle school year. On one of those  years the district N.S.S officer was the Chief Guest for our school annual day. After his speech he sang his favorite song which is P.B.Srinivas memorable melody “Chinna Chinna Kannanukku”. There was pin drop silence from the audience Even the Kindergartener’s were mesmerized by his voice. And suddenly we heard female voice sobbing and crying uncontrollably. It was my sixth grade history teacher Leema . Later that day, I learnt she lost her infant (baby boy) to tetanus just a month back and could not bear hearing him sing that song.

The incident that happened at the school day function made me listen to lot of  P.B. Srinivas songs . I became a hard-core fan of him.  His voice gave life to  Kannadasan’s lyrics and he made each song a memorable one.

Here are few of my favourite  songs by P.B.Srinivas

1. Chinna chinna Kannakukku

2. Kaatru Veliyidal Kannamma (Bharathiar song)- Kappallotiya Tamizhan

3. Kalangalil Aval Vasantham

4. Ninapaithalam nadanthuvitall

5. Oruthi oruvanai ninaithuvittal

6. En Aruey nee

7.  Thennankeetru Oonjalile

 

8. Intha mandrathil odivarum

9.       Mouname Parvai oru pattu pada vendum

10. Nilavey ennidam Nerungathey (not able to find any link for this song)

P.S: While searching the songs for this pr,  I saw the actual film videos for couple of  song fo the first time. OMG. It's good thing I heard his voice on radio first than seeing the movies : ).

Remembering V and R

It’s been a year since I lost my good friend V. Time does fly. The evening is so fresh in my memory.

First week of October, While driving to a store, I took a left turn and drove through the road and crossed the apartment complex where V used to live 10 years back. My eyes welled up and cried so much in the car to the point I couldn’t see the road. It was dark and raining and it could have been worse . I stopped at a business place and gathered myself (well I cried more) and then continued driving to the store.  

 I met her for the first time in that apartment complex and R was a toddler at that time. He hangs around his mom even when she attended the customers in her home based beauty salon. He knew about each beauty procedures  well and the time it took to complete. I often heard him complain to his mom that she was just supposed to do eyebrows not facial since it took long time to complete. He would ask me if I can come tomorrow for a facial so he can go out with his mom today. She would wink at me and give her trademark smile. He was a sweet little boy. Mom and son duo were inseparable.

She was a sweetest woman I have ever met in my life. She had a big heart and a big smile. And I wanted to remember only that and not the incidents that happened last November.

Autumn

Life has been busy in general during the month of October with festivals and other celebration.. Many of the post written during October are in draft stage since I am spending my time watching lot of television before going to bed and talking for hours with my family and friends back in India.

I liked my commute to work during autumn looking at all the trees covered with red/yellow leaves with mild weather. Autumn marked the start of festive seasons both Indian and western. During autumn I frequented restaurants during lunch. I loved the cozy corner and comfy table in my favorite restaurant drinking my warm soup served with bread. There is a lot of good restaurants in Lake Oswego /King city near the place I used to work and having variety meant happy lunch time. I miss going out to pubs/restaurant with friends /colleagues in the evenings and having good time. My friends loved having a friend who doesn’t drink. I was their official designated driver .

Ten years back, every weekend we went out for bowling or had friends for lunch or dinner at home especially 3 of my husband's colleagues. They came home for lunch and used to spend the afternoon and evening watching games and go home after having dinner.  Not once I complained about them hogging our weekend or all of them conveniently forgetting that we were newly married couple ; ). Well, things changed when they got married. And my husband learnt a lesson.

This is first year, I missed going to Garbha ( I even attended garbha just six months after delivering NR). Autumn started with vengeance in portland with cold , damp nights/days. I was in no mood to get dressed in traditional costumes and drive out in the pouring rain. Garbha starts at 9.00pm and goes till 1.00am . I curled up on my cozy warm bed and watched TV instead.

This is also the first year I didn't make any deepavali sweets/snacks. NR kept me busy during the day and after dinner I was too tired (or just lazy) to make deepavali sweets/snacks alone. This year deepavali at my house was a low-key affair.

When I don’t work, I’ll start hibernating during cold season. And this autumn/winter I am thankful that I am not working. I don’t have an hour’s commute to work in blazing winds and rain.  Every morning we (NR and me) get to sleep till 8.30 -9.00am  and I love this part of my SAHM life. Well, I am grateful to have a husband who makes this possible.  Thank you lord for this special luxury I enjoy even after becoming a mom.

Living your life

I read this beautiful story from a blog post  yesterday. Just like my philosophy on life . Take it slow and halt when needed to enjoy the things in my life.

 " A management consultant, on holiday in a African fishing village, watched a little fishing boat dock at the quayside. Noting the quality of the fish, the consultant asked the fisherman how long it had taken to catch them.

"Not very long." answered the fisherman.

"Then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the consultant. The fisherman explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The consultant asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, have an afternoon's rest under a coconut tree. In the evenings, I go into the community hall to see my friends, have a few beers, play the drums, and sing a few songs..... I have a full and happy life." replied the fisherman.

The consultant ventured, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you...... You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have a large fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to a city here or maybe even in the United Kingdom, from where you can direct your huge enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the fisherman.

"Oh, ten, maybe twenty years." replied the consultant.

"And after that?" asked the fisherman.

"After that? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the consultant, laughing, "When your business gets really big, you can start selling shares in your company and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" pressed the fisherman.

"After that you'll be able to retire, move out to a small village by the sea, sleep in late every day, spend time with your family, go fishing, take afternoon naps under a coconut tree, and spend relaxing evenings havings drinks with friends..."

" That's what i,m doing right now", said the fisherman and went his way.

Hope

What  an amazing day today watching each Chilean miner come out of the tunnel to the ground. The relief and happiness displayed on everybody face around them was priceless to watch.

As rightly said by the famous chilean journalist/reporter - From this day chile will no longer be remembered for the military coup led by General Augusto Pinochet Ugarte but for this miraculous rescue effort.

• For Atheists this day symbolizes the power of man and technology


• For billions of people who believe in God this day symbolizes power of prayer and strengthened our Faith.  It was amazing to watch an entire country praying for miners.

              " More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of " ( a  line from Morte D Arthur)

But for all, this day symbolizes the power of Hope.

 No matter what happens in our life or how worse the situation might be, we need keep that hope alive and well.

Listen to my favorite song by my fav singer Celine Dion. I love the lyrics. 

Late 30’s wisdom

Both parents going to work means trying to be in full control schedule 7/24. This means everything has to be done on time just like in prison and in a hurry every single working day. We do have our schedule in our house everyday like eating, bathing and nap/sleep times for NR but it varies on day today basis depending on his mood. He is going to have regimented life starting from school till he is going to retire and I want him to feel free at home at this age. As a family we cannot lead a day to day life filled with outburst, anger or stress.  Anger never goes well with CB, me or NR. We are quiet laid back couples and I am not sure if changing my status from SAHM to WM will go well right at this phase in our life.

I never consider myself  a feminist but if feminism means having complete financial independence and not depending on your spouse then I am a hard-core feminist. I started working when I turned twenty-three. From that time onwards I ‘ve been living off my salary and never bothered my parents financially. The same rule applies to my husband too. Last two and half years since I resigned my well-paying corporate job I’ve spent considerable portion of my savings/investments to support my financial needs/lifestyles. The money spent could have bought us a decent apartment in our home town. But I believe that money saved should come in handy in times of need. And I believe the need is “now” than during my retirement. I love to be primary care provider for my son. My husband is happy to provide for us during my current “mid life retirement” phase. I don’t bother him with my personal financial needs. And my financial life style hasn’t changed because I am SAHM.

Even after living in US for decade plus years, I am not impressed by the concept of having a crazy stressed life during the week and going out during the weekends or penny pinching on essential life style choices and then taking expensive vacations, or trying to save crazy for retirement. Quality of life matters to us. If we spend our life time going thru a stressed /busy life, I am not sure if we will be happy during our retirement.

But when we face uncertainty in job market or gets calls weekly from recruiting firms/ex-colleagues, the “working me" gets tempted to resume work.  But given a choice I would rather live in a single bed room apt than go back to work leaving NR in a day care now.

We do have an easy option of going back to India. These days I fantasize about taking a break from this western life style and going back to India and living with our parents till NR goes to school.  Yes, I fantasize about such simple pleasure in life. If I put my foot down, I can live in my fantasy world even next month but some personal situation is making me to think otherwise.  

I am tempting my husband to take his “mid life retirement" for a short time and live a quiet relaxed life in India till our son goes to school.

Edited to Add: I wrote and scheduled this post last friday when my husband had 3 days of vacation plus a weekend to spend with us.  Though NR had fever till thursday, I had a relaxed schedule each day with CB taking care of NR . We ate restaurant food when I skipped cooking.  Last week events made me think about life I will have in India with cook, maid and a driver. Sigh .

Parenting questions

Living and raising a child in a country which  is  totally different from my culture and upbringing poses many challenges. I've realised that raising a child in US is dominated by fear factor unlike in India everything is taken casually .

From  pregnancy to birth we handled many challenging situation all alone as a couple and continuing to do so.  We have handled many difficult situations and I am still paranoid like a new mother at times. Most of the time,  I make a decision based on what I saw/experienced growing up in India. My mothering is mostly influenced by my ammuma. She was an affectionate and a kind woman who never for a minute complained about her old age when it came to raising her grand-daughter. I was the one and only fortunate soul  raised by my maternal grand parents.

I try to exercise the kindness and patience with my son just like my grand mom but at times I stray away from path mostly because of tiredness. I tried to get answers how to handle certain situation just by recollecting my memories at ammuma house. I never remember being disciplined or heard angry words from her. She will explain the good deeds to me in her kind and affectionate voice. I learnt the difference between good and bad thru simple stories.

I have difficult time  accepting the western concept of “timeout/Naughty chair”  advised and exercised by most moms in US. As an adult if I make mistake, I wanted other party to come and talk to me than  to ignore me. When people offend me badly that’s when distance myself from that person because I feel “Silence is the worst punishment”.

I just can’t imagine ignoring my son when he throws tantrum or just being plain mischievous. I can make him quiet if I just hug him /hold him and say that I love him.  He feels so guilty when I say “Amma not happy” when he does something which he is not supposed to do. He gets my message right and clear. This works well both with Sr and Jr . I have all the time and patience just like my grand mom because I am a SAHM just like my grandma.

This nursery rhyme reminds me of the stories that  most of us( Indians) heard as kids explaining the simple concept of life. Thanks to amma singing this rhyme often NR loves this one.

I want NR to come and talk to me/explain things  than to   make him sit quietly in a “Naughty /time out chair”.  Aren’t we teaching about hate/punishment implicitly at this younger age?. I used to wonder why toddlers say my mom/dad/sister/brother hates me so often in this country. Personally I have never heard this "hate" word from kids (of all ages) in India especially toddlers.  

Already this world is filled with hatred and people are trying to punish each other thru violence in name of religion, caste and creed. Why should we make our kids  feel that hate so early at home ?

September Special

September has been a month which brought life changing events in my personal life.   

On a quiet day in Sep 1991 CB expressed his love for me.  On a very special day in Sep 2007 I was pleasantly surprised to hear the news that  I was seven weeks pregnant against all odds.   

And three years later, on Sep 2010, my younger brother has become a proud big daddy to a sweet ,chubby  cutie pie “MP” aka “Morai Ponnu” for NR.   

Introducing september superJodi

[caption id="attachment_1041" align="aligncenter" width="128" caption="NR2008(left)-MP2010(right)"][/caption]

 BTW we celebrated the September Fever Fest for almost a month. NR was sick on and off from beginning of this month brought on by our typical Oregon climate changing from hot to cold almost every other day. I am hoping and praying that we are done with Fever Fest.

Ganesh chathurthi and the week before

 We celebrated Ganesh chathurthi with usual vigor. Good that the festival fell on a weekend. I had the best baby sitter to take care of NR. Made the typical Ganesh chathurthi dishes mothagam, sundal , pongal and vadai. I have made it as a tradition to take pictures and to see NR compared to last two years seemed like long time. Two years ago as a six month old baby he laid on my lap during the pooja and now he was helping me with ringing the bell. We had some setbacks with his health last year but I am grateful for everything in my life now. Pillaiyar aka Ganesh has been my favorite god since childhood.  I pray everyday to him to give me strength to deal with life’s challenges.

 Earlier I was little skeptical about introducing both our religion to our future kids. With NR things fell into place and we don’t even think about that anymore. NR loves church and enthusiastic about visiting temple. The one common attraction in both the places is the “MUSIC” he loves the most. May be my secret wish might come true after all.   

I spent the Labour day weekend  lazing around the house. I found time to make some handmade gifts for my friend's birthday . I've known her for last 12 years since we moved to Portland , oregon. She was so thoughtful to bring my fav food home after my delivery. She is a great mom to three kids  one of whom is a special needs girl. I learn the love and patience from her. They are such amazing parents and her husband worked with me and CB. He had a critical role in the product development yet always found time to spend time with kids. I mean he will work throughout the night, go home in the morning when the girls wake up and help his wife and come back to office around 9.30am. He used to do this so often and he did that with good smile on his face. I and CB used to talk a lot about him and we are very fond of them.

 I always believed that god chooses such special people as  the parents for his special needs kids. They have the best heart and soul to love their kids without expecting anything in return not even an “I love u” back.

 I see many parents in the play group/play area acting like drill sergeants wanting and teaching some stuff  kids beyond their age and taking much pride in their kids skills/achievement. Thank god I didn’t have such restless parents. Kids from such household inherit their parent’s restlessness and relate achievement with self worth . They focus so  much energy on being the best among their peers and feel so unhappy no matter what they have/achieve in their life. 

When see my friend and her husband I see the kind of parents we want to learn from.  I call her every time I feel scared or afraid of something in my life. She always had time for me which is so nice of her. I’ve had people cut me off - while talking on the phone, when I make a courtesy call to say hello. I used to think why on earth I am being so good to such people. Lot of my friends and even I used to excuse myself when I have some urgent matters to attend but I''ll always make sure to call them back. I always feel reluctant to  call her knowing her schedule but every time we end up talking  for a long time.

There is nothing better than a handmade gift to say "I love u" or " I treasure you" . I made her C & C (a cake and a Clutch). Made a purple & pink cake and made a clutch with a beautiful print having purple flowers. I paid a surprise visit to her house around 8.00pm before her birthday to hand deliver her birthday gift. Special  friends gets special attention no matter how long and tiring my day was.  

 

 

 

My favourite lines from the movie "Eat, pray and love"

After three long years, I was able to watch a movie without any interruption which in turn allowed me to love some of the lines from the movie Eat , pray and love.  These are some of my favorite lines (in Italics) from the book/movie . 

"Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit" => So True : )

“The sweetness…of doing nothing.”  I am missing that phase of my life dearly after having a baby.

 “Morning you pray and evening you enjoy”.  I believe in god but too much god or too little of god/No God makes people opinionated, edgy and sarcastic.

 “God dwells within you, as you.” -  This is my view of god since childhood. I try my best to keep my heart and soul pure so I can keep the god within me. "Om Namah Shivaya, meaning, I honor the divinity that resides within me."

 “If you clear out all of that space in mind you would have a door way” - Well said. "Zen masters say you cannot see your reflection in running water, only in still water." When too many thought run thru our mind we tend to lose focus.  All we need is purge those unwanted thoughts to bring focus in our life. My daily prayers (conversation with god) helps me to gain that focus in my life.

 “Sometimes to lose balance for love is to keep balance in life “. This has been true in every phase of life. As child my family lost balance as one unit. My mom was in the hospital for almost two long years. Living without your mother everyday made me to appreciate the gift of life and a deeper understanding of things happening around me. I have little or no respect for people trying to take their god given precious life for their own selfish reasons.

 "Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it" – My addition to the quote “Most of times you will find it right next you “ so make people appreciate , long and value your company.  I tend to shy away from people who are unhappy and cynical about life.

 "You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight." Everybody lives to see their dreams come true someday in  life-  like getting a getting into good college, a dream job, good husband, baby, career or just living with your family close to you. When that dream changes its course it brings sadness in our life. If we try to alter/update our dreams with our current life we will bring happiness back into our life.

 This book was a huge hit because every one of us can relate to her story or experiences in someway or the other.

 I would highly recommend watching this movie. It will be more fun if you are fortunate enough to watch it with bunch of your girl friends. I missed my younger sister more when I watched this movie.

Edited to Add:

After writing this post I stumbled upon many webpages displaying Eat, Pray and love quotes. Wow. It definitely has some effect on people I say. Check out the quotes memorable from this link.

 

 

Yet another week goes by

If I have to announce my last ten days  in Sun TV style  then it goes like “Idhu Over Clingy Vaaram (The most clingy week)”. My son is finding me aka amma more delicious and appealing that he never wanted to part from me. He had cold and I thought he was coming down with fever. Phew.That never happened.  Thank god for that. He hated me spending time in kitchen and was bawling for everything. He would just hug my legs and never let me go. His cries stopped instantly when I pick him up or just be with him in the same room. Life would be really easy if I have another set of hands to help me during the day especially when NR longs for warmth and company.

I managed to sneak out last week to see Eat, Pray, love. I liked the movie. It’s kind of movie I like to watch - a chick  flick with happy ending. No fire alarms  this time and I managed to smuggle my favorite tea made by “World’s best Tea maker” aka CB.

A good friend/colleague of mine decided to drop in on Friday with her two sons.  We had good time catching up. NR and her 5 year old had good time . NR was super comfortable with him . When it was time to leave, he refused to go home and wanted to stay for couple of hours more.  I need to arrange more play dates with such 5 year old kids.  Thanks to her sweet one year old boy I relived my one year old phase with him. We had a lively Friday afternoon thanks to her and little boys.

 I seldom take naps during the day after NR’s birth. When they left around 4.00pm NR and me took a long 3 hr nap. I love such special times that  SAHM  life  gives me, cuddling NR and sleeping just like a baby. Poor Appa came home early to a quiet home.

I forced CB to go for the movie "Inception". He doesn’t take any time for himself after NR’s birth. The little guy accompanies him everywhere except for the barber shop. So, he went with our friend to “Inception” last Saturday night (after me and NR went to bed). He never liked the movie. He doesn’t like chick flicks but felt Eat, Pray and Love would have been  better choice than Inception.

We went for annual summer picnic hosted by CB's company. We have been taking NR to this picnic every year since he was just three months old baby .  NR went to nap at 3.00pm right when the picnic was due to start. We went to picnic around 6.00pm after he woke up and reached the venue right in time for the raffle.NR had great time at the park . He  loved his choo choo Train ride and the Herschell-Spillman Carrousel ride couple of times. The company provided us with deluxe bracelets so  we stayed  till the park closing hours.

And we might have scored the “IPAD” hat trick during the picnic. The grand prize for the raffle was IPAD.  CB won paid day off (the next best prize to IPAD) in the raffle just before the grand prize drawing. Momma and son are happy to have Appa to ourselves for one more day.  

I will have a relaxed phase for next three days (Labor Day long weekend) after ten days of marathon clinging by NR. I’ll have another set of hands – his loving appa who is eager and willing to spend every waking minute with his son. And that gives Amma her  needed “ME” time to do some special project this weekend.

Have fun filled Labor Day weekend.

 

Another amazing inventor with his amazing invention

Watch this video and check it yourself

Amazing Invention

EAT,PRAY,LOVE - It was just EAT Alone

I've wanted to see the movie after watching the preview on FIOS. Ideally I want to watch this movie with group of girl friends.  Lot of my friends have moved or married or had first/second baby. These days it's too difficult even to schedule something. When schedule works out one of the kids will fall sick or something else will happen.

I've accepted the fact I can no longer rely on  my girl friend's company .I've made myself comfortable going to the theater alone. But I haven't gone to theater since NR's birth. I wanted to go for Avatar but it never worked out. CB knew I was eager to watch this movie, he persuaded me to go for the movie.  I decided to go for the movie last Wednesday for 7.20pm show. NR skipped his nap so that day's schedule got completely messed up. By time I finished making dinner for us and him, it was already 7.20pm. I could not go that day.

Last Saturday NR decided to play all day and skip his nap. CB urged me to go the movie in the evening when they went for their usual evening routine.  I took shower and hopped to the movie theater. I reached the theater just on time. I got my chai latte and walked to the room airing EAT, PRAY and LOVE.

The theater was not crowded but all the good seats had been taken. I always sit at the top row and found couple of seats empty between two set of people. I chose to sit next to two old women. I got seated comfortably and took first sip of my chai latte. It was horrible (reminder to myself  - Never buy chai latte from Regal cinema halls). The old woman next to me smiled and said “Just in time ha”. I said yes and told her that I am coming to the theater after 3 yrs.

The movie started around 7.30pm or so. We hardly watched the movie for 20 – 30 minutes suddenly the firm alarm light started flashing. They stopped the movie. We sat there for ten minutes and one women audience was kind enough to check the status and informed the audience about fire alarm. Then a staff came and asked us to go the parking lot at the west side of the theater.

Audiences from all the theaters got evacuated and assembled near the entrance. It was little quiet and chaotic at times. My new friends aged 68 and 77 started talking to me. They asked about my son and showed them his picture from my cell phone. We continued to talk for next 20 minutes.

The theater staff issued pass to watch the movie again. This pass is valid for next one year. They also gave option to watch the movie once the fire department left the venue. But they were not sure when the Fire department would finish checking issue. This false fire alarm had happened thrice this week so the staffs were familiar with the drill.

Three of us decided to get back home but when I reached my car, I saw the crowd going back to the theater. I ran to my new friends and gave the news. We decided to watch the movie again.  We went in and continued our conversation. They gave their email and address. The older woman has a house in the country side (which is just 15 minutes from my house; ) and invited me to bring NR to her home .  

Everybody clapped when the movie started. Just ten minutes into the movie, the fire alarm started flashing again. This time the staff came and announced that this was yet another false alarm so they will start the movie again. Just when he finished announcing, we all heard his supervisor informing him to evacuate the audience.

The older woman jokingly asked the staff (in his teens) to issue another ticket. Her friend silenced her and said we will get another one on the way. I really felt as if I am with my college friends. These two retired women were so much fun . While exiting older of the two went and got second pass. The theater management never checked the tickets and was happy to distribute as many requested .   She got one for me. I felt little shy to accept it but I was not able to say “NO” to two friendly souls.

While walking to the parking lot they both said it was meant for three of us to meet. I nodded my head. The same thought flashed in my mind few sec before.

The Movie god was not happy with me this time. I watched only the “EAT” part of the movie(EAT,PRAY,LOVE) but I got two more tickets. I enjoyed my evening with my new friends.  That evening was meant for a three people to meet and say hello. I could not believe all the drama that happened this Saturday including me spotting my husband and son in our SUV at the signal.  We waved at each other. I felt little guilty for going to the theater alone leaving them behind.

My son got his wish too. I got back home, right in time for his bed after shopping for groceries at Safeway.

Maiden Truck Travel

My first home in US was in central US   a tornado prone zone. We lived there for 5 months  without any desi neighbours .

We never had a car for first two months .CB never bothered to get driving license though he was in the country for more than 8 months before me. The city  had a huge snowstorm  few months after my arrival and dumped around 4 feet of snow .

I still remember the day, Me and CB  holding hands together and taking one step at a time in the street filled with knee-high snow to get the grocers. It took us more than 30 minutes to reach the grocery shop just across our apartment. It was the most romantic walk ever.

CB bought our first car from his colleague,  then went on to get his driver license. You might think what 's big deal right?. The deal was one of his colleagues drove the car to our apartment and parked it in our garage : ). I had never heard of any one  getting a car before getting a driver's license other than my dear silly husband .

In Kansas one need to attend driving classes(theory) to get  drivers license . CB took weekend  classes. He usually returns home by 7 or 7.30pm. He travelled by yellow cab. One sunday evening , he did not return home till 10.30pm. He never had cell phone at that time . I was getting paranoid as the hours passed from 7.30pm. I never knew any one in the city and I was not even familiar with the neighbourhood. I don't even know what to do or whom to call . I called his close friend frantically . His childhood friend lived in Denver , Colorado(in a different state than us) hundreds of miles away from us.  He asked me to wait for another hour and  then call 911. Every minute went like a decade.

After 45 minutes around 11.00pm CB did a grand entry in a huge 18 wheeler truck along with african american girl.  Since my apt was on the other side, I wasn't lucky enough to view his grand entrance. She was a co student in the driving class and she also used yellow cab to commute to class. Unfortunately that day the public phone in the building did n't work and these two were not able to call a cab. She was smart enough to stop the trucker to get a ride and helped CB come home. Writing this blog,  I realise  may be she was a hooker who is so used to stopping the truckers : ).

Even now CB seldom answers his cell phone . If I had to sight  reasons for a divorce, this would be at the top of my list :).

CB who works in the emerging technology field but seldom uses the technology in his personal life.  I 've married a cave man.

Sometimes we become god’s messenger

I went to temple yesterday evening and met a young couple. I almost cancelled my visit since NR decided to skip his afternoon nap and make it an evening nap. The girl distributed bangles to the women at the temple. I asked the reason and she told me that they are trying for a baby. I started to talk to her and found out that they were not successful with IUI and IVF. She was in tears and I just wanted to hug her.

 I live in a country where I hear/read on daily basis about women killing their newborns and wonder why do they deserve such a gift in their life while there are millions of loving affectionate couples wanting and praying for a miracle in their life. Life is not fair sometimes.

 I shared my experience and told her to stay positive and never give up hope. Miracles do happen. It happened to me. We both talked for more than half an hour. I could feel a renewed hope in their eyes. They were nice and friendly couple. I prayed for them and blessed them to have their wish come true soon.

If I’d gone early to temple as scheduled, I would have missed meeting them. Yesterday god made me, his messenger to give them hope right at the temple. May be that’s a sign for them.  I really felt blessed for being his messenger.

Whenever strangers makes me feel good by their words or action when I am down or worried about something,  I know god is talking to me through them.  God talks to us thru people around us .

In our daily night prayer, NR and I prayed for that Athai and Mama to get a special gift soon, a cute baby like NR. My ammuma used to say that god listens to kids more than adults. NR is my sweet little prayer buddy : ).

American Desi family Vs Indian Desi family

21st Century Desi Family in US	21st Century Desi family in India
Celebrates all Indian festival including Rakhi /holi even if they are South Indian  adhering to typical Indian standards	Attends Valentines day, Mothers day , fathers day , Halloween parties leaving kids with their nanny (“ayah”)
Gets meager two or three weeks vacation time and working women gets meager 8 or 12 weeks maternity leave	Gets at least 6 weeks vacation other than EL,CL or SL. Women working for government gets a year of maternity leave
Most women chose to stay at home after kids so kids can have indian lifestyles specially food .	Have the freedom and choice to get back to work even after the third baby thanks to generous maternity leave and abundance of nannies or domestic help
Majority of Desi kids attends public school	Majority of kids in India from all income levels attends private school .
Children learn classical Indian dance, music. They perform in temple and in all desi gatherings just like our grandmother’s time	Kids take Piano. Salsa, fencing, swimming classes. They perform in TV shows and win high cash prizes like houses which only their parents can dream of.
Desi kids are into Indian music specially Bangra, bharathanatyam etc. I haven't seen any teenagers aha ooohing about Justin bieber yet.	Majority of the kids are familiar /fans the western music/artists.
Vacations are strictly spent with family back in India(Guilt takes over common sense)	Vacations in exotic places within India, Asia or if money is abundant , then Europe or Americas.
Furnishes the yearly wardrobe during their India trip(Men gets yearly wardrobe as gift thanks to his wife parents, sisters , cousins and brothers)	Buys American /European designer wear in India or in Europe/American designer stores during their exotic vacation.
Drive his/her own car everywhere at all times including driving oneself to hospital while in labor.	Have cars driven by Drivers. Those drives also come in handy to carry all the stuff bought from stores. (Before coming to US lot of  people on the left column also enjoyed this luxury)
Buys a home which is bit more than their annual household income.	Buys a home for which the mortgage  needs to be paid not only them and by their kids too.
Real estate prices affordable by most families. Home sqft averages at least twice their parent’s homes.	Some Indian city real estate prices are higher than Newyork(factor for Economic growth). Average home sqft is ¼ of their parent’s home.
In spite of earning a six figure US salaries, both men and women does all the chores in the house.	Have maids  for every chore in the house
Mows the lawn, does the weekly weeding even if the house is on a one acre lot.	Have a gardener to water even the few plants in a planter
Has one or two credit cards	Wallet is filled with credit cards
Plans every bit of their life including retirement and death (Can’t borrow money from parents, uncles or aunts in case of emergency. Even wealthy parents can’t send money in case of emergency so careful planning in every step)	Present generation live American life. They live pay check to pay check. Most  money is spend on life style choices and mortgage.
Hunts for deals on electronics	Pays double or thrice the price just to have the latest gadgets
Has the risk of no medical coverage if they lose their jobs	Majority of them can afford care in best hospital in the city
Has identity crisis during the teenage years. No wonder they are called ABCD	They even know what they want to be when they in middle school. Most of them aspire to be Bill Gates or Warren Buffett

 There are some extraordinary Desi families (super families as in super man)with pioneering spirit who grows their own vegetable, sew their own clothes, make paper, remodel their homes and even raise chickens in urban sprawl.

I came up with this list within five minutes time(took forever to type and edit it) .Yes. you guessed it right. I had a busy day with unending house hold chores and being a slave to a two year old.

Dear Readers going through my list would clearly give you an idea about where the real development is  right? So next time when you start pointing fingers at  US desis for not paying taxes or being unpatriotic , HAVE MERCY. We are already leading a life style two generation behind yours (like your grandparent's generation).

 

Of Bloody Mary and Margaritas

During summer of 1999, I was returning to US from my six months vacation back home.I was travelling thru Singapore airlines via Singapore from Chennai.

 Majority of the Economy class travelers from Chennai to Singapore usually are people from rural areas of south India working in Singapore. It’s entertaining to watch their behavior in the flight.I have seen some of the merchants from Tamil Nadu mostly Muslim folks bringing “Briyani” with them. They sat together and ate Briyani as if they are on a bus/train just few minutes after the flight takes off.  The rural guys pestered the flight attendant for alcohol/drinks the moment they board the flight.

 I had a difficult time with one such guy who sat next to me. I was on aisle seat and he on the window seat.  He was this huge guy who kept drinking free alcohol glass after glass and dozed off to sleep. He was snoring like a dog and falling on my shoulders. I was such a soft naïve girl at that time, I didn’t even complain about this guy to the flight attendant. I never closed my eyes fearing some bad behavior from this guy. I almost applauded when the captain announced that we are about to land in Singapore.

 The next leg of journey from Singapore to Hong Kong was eventless. A good-looking Delhi girl boarded the flight in Hong Kong and seated next to me.  I was kind of relieved to have female co passenger for next stretch of long flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco. But I was too quick to judge her since she had such an attitude right from the start. She refused to speak to me, even when she spoke she had such arrogance in her tone. I am known for my patience but one thing which totally gets me is the egoistic and arrogant behavior of some annoying people. I refused to tolerate such people at any point in my life.

 Just an hour into the flight the delhi socialite (so-she-is-lowlife) started ordering drinks. I had little or no knowledge about type of alcohol drinks or name of the drinks at that time. She started ordering drinks like “Blood Mary” .For a catholic convent educated girl it was rather shocking/uneasy to hear such name. Next came Margaritas. The only Margarita I’ve known at that time was my school senior (my sister’s classmate). Madam happily drank all the free alcohol to her heart’s content (or should I say till she blacked out). I have my seen female colleagues drink at office party but this was my first encounter with a hard-core female drunkard. I refused to sleep this time fearing that she might throw up any time. I had to push her head from shoulders for a long 9 hours. She made the previous drunken male passenger look  like an angel . 

 When she woke up she spoke sporadically. She enquired my background and my destination city etc. I did the same and found that she was visiting her sister’s family in SFO for the first time. She openly expressed her disgust about other passengers and wondering their purpose of visit to US. One such passenger was an tamil woman wearing a Kandangi sari..

 The old woman kept talking loudly (her natural voice) to a girl she befriended on the flight. She spoke like any typical innocent village women but I could sense her courage .Her dress explained her humble background. From her conversation I came to know that she is visiting her son and this is her first time visit to  USA. I could not stop wondering how much hard she would have worked in her life to educate her son. She should have saved all those tiny change in her “Anjarai petti (grocery bin), for her son to get an education that too an education which landed him in USA. To me ,her mere journey to US was a success story of a mother who did everything in her power to give a good future to her son thru education.

Well my Delhi socialite thought otherwise. She spoke and looked at that old woman like an outcast. She went back to her routine of eating and drinking more alcohol and slept happily . While she slept the flight attendant distributed the immigration forms.

 The old woman got the form and enquired about it to the tamil girl sitting next to her. She got the help of her co passenger and filled the form ASAP. She had all the information needed to fill up the form. She did that effortlessly like a frequent flier. Even when I travelled for the first time to US, I had to get the form second time since I made some mistake. Her life experiences were far more superior to my academic knowledge. I realised she would have tackled other difficult situations in her life with such ease and common sense.

 An hour before the flight was about to land in SFO, the delhi girl got up from her sleep. She looked around and saw many passengers filling up the immigration forms. She asked me about it and I directed her to the flight attendant. When she started filling her form , she went into a panic mode. She did not have her sister’s address but only phone number. She cursed her sister for not informing about this in advance. I was wondering which idiot would travel around the world without a destination address in hand. She was a nervous wreck. I suggested that she make a phone call to her sister from airport phone and get the address else she will not clear the immigration.

 When we disembarked the flight I rushed to get my luggage since I had to catch my flight to Portland Oregon in an hour’s time. The old woman stood in the same line with me ( I didn’t  have my green card at that time) and cleared the immigration quickly. She spotted her son standing upstairs behind a glass wall and waved at him with such joy. I cannot forget that moment.

 I did not see the Delhi girl at all in that 30 minutes we stood in the immigration line. Probably she was trying to figure out how to use the US public phones to make a call to her sister.  

 

The story of IPAD ownership

My husband is a book freak –that too a  tech book freak. Gifting means only one choice that is anything and everything to do with books (I also include boxers, soaps, perfumes which he refuses to buy for himself).  I used to give him special watches as gift which he wears once or twice Last couple of years I refused to budge in with his request of books on his wish list.  I am really tired of giving him gift certificates and books.

 CB is least interested in gadgets unlike typical guys exception being his crazy love for high-speed bikes. He would always ask me if he could take me for a bike ride after our wedding. Well, I never allowed him to get a bike during our first year we spent in India.

I wanted to give him a bike for his 40^th birthday this year. I  came up with gift idea when we celebrated his 30th birthday.  Just two weeks before his birthday, I changed my mind thanks to a sensible friend (designated secret shopper for the bike). It rains almost 9 months in a year and we need to pay monthly insurance which is a waste of money if he is not going to use the bike regularly.   Moreover there is absolutely no space in our garage to park the bike. I talked myself out of buying the bike reminding myself about my SAHM status for last 2.5 yrs.

 CB takes his books everywhere I mean even to the Salon. Last Christmas I decided to give him a book reader – Kindle. I had an ulterior motive too - to save our office room from books invading every available space. While researching KINDLE, I came upon IPAD . It was way too cool compared to KINDLE. I decided to wait and get IPAD for his special birthday this year.

 In order to get him interested in IPAD, I started the “IPAD glorification “campaign. Daily or regularly I would praise about the features of IPAD and compare it with other similar gadgets in the marketplace. But he never showed any interest. I told my plan , when I decided to pre-order IPAD. He argued that he won’t use it . I know he will not even bother to open the package. It has happened way too many times in the last 14 years. I always ended up using all the cool gadgets I gift him. I decided not buy it for practical reasons. I don’t want to waste money on something he is not going to use or enjoy.  I don’t want to end up using it since I bought a VAIO laptop for my self in 2008.

 To my surprise, I got an early birthday gift - IPAD from CB. He thought I loved IPAD  thanks to my IPAD glorification campaign. I loved it but I could have used that money for other high priority items on my list. It's not in my "need list" but in "cool to have list".  I can check recipes, read while cooking, check mails,check FB and carry it around the house just like a book.

I have downloaded couple of cool apps for NR and the little guy started monopolizing IPAD usage.  I used to gripe about this to CB .

 Last Thursday CB surprised us with a second IPAD. CB received an IPAD as a gift from his clients for a project he worked on last April. He said his son is the lucky to get an IPAD ,which unofficially is going to be mine. And I am  planning to sell mine on eBay amidst my husband protests.

 Last Christmas he received a watch as Christmas gift from his clients. He told me about the watch but never bothered to bring it home. When I pestered him to bring the watch home after three or 4 weeks he brought it home. With just the first glance at the watch box, I knew it’s a pricey watch. Immediately I researched the brand on the net and found the price.

 Without telling him the price, I asked CB to take a guess about the price of this watch. He said may be 20 -30 dollars. Well, how does a guy, who never wears a watch will know the worth of a masterpiece?. He never buys any pricey stuff for himself (well he never buys anything for himself for that matter) , but he is always lucky to receive it from others( especially his wife).

When I showed him the price on the net, he was surprised . He said the watch box has been lying on the desk ever since he received it. I am glad that I got curious about this watch. Else he would have given it to one of the carpenters/maistry/drivers  who worked for his father during our next India trip. NR will receive this signed watch(signed by his fav person aka appa) when he graduates from high school.

 Moral of the story:

1. People receive/get things when they show little or no interests in it.

2. I haven't changed a bit. I listen to good advise from friends and family every single time . I cancelled my plan of ten years with just 15 minutes advise from a friend.

3. I need to make NR buy his own undies starting at an early age. (Whats up with Indian guys waiting for their mother or wife to get their undies ? . At least,  this is true for every single male members of my family ).

Destiny

Last week we celebrated our 14th anniversary. It’s been 19 years since we fell in love. I met him in my graduate school a month after I turned 20. He was a year older than me like most of my school/class mates.

 After my UG, I applied for graduate degree only in two colleges in Chennai. One for pursuing M.S in Nuclear physics at Madras University. I had good time during my UG and did not devote my 100% time and focus on studies . Though I secured very good grades , I didn't even think about 90 % or above needed for my FC status for PG admission.   I definitely would have got admission if I listened to my periyappa who had lot of political connections and was pressuring me to accept his help. Then my life would have taken a different route .

I applied for M.S in Forensic Science. Prof. P. Chandrasekaran who handled Rajiv Gandhi’s case was heading Tamil Nadu Forensic Science department at that time.  I was interested in Ballistics major. I had an interview at the Forensic science department at IG's office  which had three rounds, first one  on physics/chemistry/maths , second on personality/politics/general Knowledge and third was on International sports. I never realised that interview will have sports questions. I flunked miserably in my third round.  Thank god for that. What was I thinking at that time to pursue a profession which dealt with crime scenes? May be , I was influenced by  Famous Five, Nancy Drew, Sherlock   Holmes  and all the Muthu comics heroes I read as a  kid.    Everything happens for a reason and for the best.

By the time I came back to my hometown it was too late to apply in the local college. It's a conservative college which imposed unrealistic dress code . Only half  saree and sarees were allowed (Sigh, somebody from the college committe should do a  google search for half saree). I chose not to study there even for my UG. Even the thought of attending that college depressed me

Meanwhile family and friends insisted that I join some other course. My plan was to get into some course for time being and try for Nuclear physics once again next year. I applied for Business administration course in a well reputed college. It’s Roman Catholic college and only graduate courses had co-ed. Only Roman Catholic girls were given admission for science and arts majors’ exception being the management course. The course had started already but I met the principal in person. I promised him and my HOD that I will do well. I got the admission form three weeks after the course started. I could not believe my luck. It was meant to be.

CB did his UG (CS) in that college  but due to personal situation he didn’t apply for his MS (CS)  on time. His father was battling with kidney disease and he was running around between Vellore and our native town. He came back and joined my course three weeks after me. We had trimester system which meant 12 weeks for each subject. I missed three and he missed 6 weeks. There were only three girls in my course, two were PG graduates from my old college. I felt so uneasy and out of place with all the attentions I got from guys.  I would do a mad rush to the bus stop once my classes ended trying to avoid conversation with guys.

CB became a good friend. We had one topic in common -“kidney disease”. My mom had led a healthy life surviving with just one kidney for 15+ plus years at that time. I really felt sorry for him going thru so much at that time. But he had big plan. Later on he told me that when he met me for the first time he knew that I am his wife. Well, I never knew that at least in the beginning. He did n’t wait too long to confess his love for me. The more I knew him the more I liked him. He was such a soft gentle soul and he was madly in love with me. My entire extended family used to call him “guna kamal”. He was that crazy. 

His dad died at the very young age of 52, two years after we met. I met his dad many times in his house. I felt that he knew about our relationship. He was a great cook and made delicious fish fry. He used to discuss about his trip to “sabrimala” as a devotee. He pointed out to the “Geethopadesham” wall hanging on the walls. His conversation always made me feel very comfortable and assured me that I was warmly welcomed in their family.

Taking a management course and meeting CB changed course of my life. I kept my end of promise to the principal. I was a rank holder from my batch. He remembered me well during the award ceremony on our college annual day.  I never wanted to pursue physics after that. CB went on to do his graduate course in CS. I took up computer course at reputed university in Chennai and got the job immediately. I completed my second master while working in Chennai. Most of CB’s classmates left for US on work visa a year after graduating from MS while he stayed back to pursue his professional life in Chennai.

With blessings from god and parents/entire extended family we got married after 5 years of courtship. Our wedding was the grandest wedding in my family. The soft natured girl who never did anything against her parent's wish , stood strong for her love .We got married young and CB was the first one to get married among his group of college friends. . Who knew that the girl who regularly had vibhuthi on her forehead and said shastikavsam everyday would get married to a Roman catholic? It was her destiny.

Last 19 years we both worked very hard to achieve our dreams (personal/professional) as a couple leading a disciplined, relaxed and loving life. In that process we never ever left the values and morals we cherished. We crossed every mountain of struggle holding our hands together with great deal of respect and love for each other. Life would have been much easier if we got financial/emotional help from our parents. We never consulted our parents when we fell in love so we chose to face everything in our life by ourselves. In that process we’ve grown stronger emotionally, spiritually as a couple.

I strongly believe in destiny. Do you? We are sent to this earth with a master plan. Everything goes according to that plan.  I remember this every time I face a crisis in my life. This brings peace to my thoughts and gives me strength .  People, who don’t believe that, are the people who spend their life time thinking they are in control of their life and destiny.

14th Wedding Anniversary

We celebrated our 14^th Anniversary last week. Feels like yesterday we got married. Not having a baby for a long time makes you feel young and not that old. I definitely know that now.

 It’s been since 19 yrs since we fell in love. I can officially say that we know each other for half our lives: ).

 We celebrated this anniversary like usual. I cooked a special lunch and we went to Balaji temple in the evening. At last, Portland has an authentic south style temple. It’s been years since I told my nakshatram for doing archanai or for that sake even doing archanai on my anniversary. We have a North Indian style temple/ashram which we go regularly. But listening to favorite chant and mantrams brought such joy to my heart and ears. This temple is very close to my house ,so I go there couple of  times a week like my good old days at Chennai/hometown.

 I’ve been looking thru baby photos of NR and I miss that chubby little baby. Now I know why people keep having many babies. They are addictive. I feel he has grown up so much in the last few months. He is taller and lean. He is becoming so naughty when he gets bored. Nonetheless, I miss him when he takes his afternoon nap and will be waiting for him to get up.

2010 - July 4th weekend

Days are getting hotter everyday. July 4^th weekend had a sunny forecast. Currently NR’s food and sleep takes precedence over anything and everything in our life. And he is a happy boy when he gets his usual afternoon nap after lunch. With all the dietary restrictions, filling his tiny tummy is another big story. He likes routines and we try to accommodate his routine(s) in every possible way. This means, I live a life  like my grandmother - cooking, cleaning, feeding, bathing and the cycle continues day by day without getting any break. And we get only two to three hours break to go out anywhere during weekends .

We went to our favorite hangout in downtown Portland  - riverplace marina . We often go there and have dinner at my favorite seafood restaurant. We had a sweet surprise when we reached there. Portland's Blues festival was happening and we had a fantastic time. We went for our usual walk on the marina and spent time listening to fantastic music. NR loved every minutes of it. He loved the loud music(he is scared of loud sounds), the huge crowd and his favorite down town traffic with many trucks going on the marquam bridge.

 The whole marina was filled with huge boats. Americans likes to spend time on their boats for July 4^th weekend. Every boat had big families and they were grilling all kinds of food on the marina walkway on the water. Every adult we saw was sipping beer or other alcohol drinks and enjoying the grilled food. Seeing grandparents holding babies and toddlers running around the boats playing and shouting made me feel lonely. I miss those happy times with family.

 BTW, my hardcore non vegetarian and coffee drinking husband has become green tea drinking vegetarian since 2008. My favorite sea food place doesn’t offer too many vegetarian selections so we went to this new restaurant on the marina (the bakery is out of business) which has opened just 4 weeks back. The owner is a warm friendly women from New Orléans. We had yummy lentil soup, vegetarian enchiladas and best veggie sandwich.

I have two picky eaters in my house hold who are making my life hard as hell when it comes to food. Sr inspite of becoming vegetarian likes only few vegetables and Jr has his own problem with food sensitivity. I wish somebody plans our weekly meals. Then  I'll have to just cook and not break my head with weekly menu.  Life is not that simple right? I am happy at least I enjoy cooking.

 

Remembering my favorite teacher - Sister Edel Mary

• She was my class teacher in ninth grade


• She is a beautiful woman with happy soul.


• She had a beautiful smile like Mona Lisa’s. It’s so hard to interpret her mood because she  gave that Mona Lisa smile even when we behaved badly.


• She taught History.


• She introduced me to Anil Kapoor


• She covered her History book with Anil Kapoor’s posters (I guess from magazine or news paper). She is Anil Kapoor’s fan so I became his fan too.


•  She was a welcome change in our school dominated by unfriendly nuns (mostly Tamil nuns from rural background who tortured happy carefree kids imposing "nun" like rules). I always felt she never belonged there.


• She asked us to learn typing and short hand so it will come handy during our college years. I followed her advice faithfully and passed my typing lower grade mid of  11^th grade year. I attempted my typing higher grade exam after 4 months  but failed. I didn’t practice well due to my half-yearly exams. I was the only one 15-year-old kid, taking the higher grade typing exam in that huge exam hall .I was the youngest student in my institute and hence my teacher’s pet.  I also took short hand –lower grade lessons but discontinued it, when I came to 12^th grade due to tight academic schedule. I had decent knowledge of short hand to take notes .Now  I don't remember anything  .


• She was very entertaining.  I never saw her as a nun but as domesticated women who loved children. She was happy around kids and eager to mentor us in her own undemanding ways. She really influenced my mothering style.


• I watched " Fraggle Rock" for the first time during my ninth grade. She made us watch “Fraggle Rock” once a week during her class hour. That was my first introduction to 3-D animated cartoons . I used to create 3-D model of comic book character(s) out of china clay (aka modeling clay) complete with cardboard castles/building during summer time. Fraggle Rock based projects dominated the summer that year.


• During my college years I forced myself to believe that Sister Edel became a nun because of a broken love affair : ).  She was a vibrant woman who gave up everything in life for the sake of God.


• She died at a younger age (during 1990’s) due health complications arising after a van accident driven by a careless and stupid driver . Even during my schooling years he used to scare the hell out us bye driving the van at high-speed inside our school campus.

 I tried to remember Sister Edel Mary as often as I can , but today I remembered her specially ,when I sang my son’s favorite Anil Kapoor’s dance number “Tak dina din tak dina din .., bom bom bom Bombay mere hai” . 

She was my ideal teacher and no wonder I always wanted to become a pre-KG teacher. I still do.

Happy birthday my sweet little sis

As a seven year old girl, I was overjoyed with the news of your birth. There was nothing special than that.  The memory is so fresh in my mind. My mom told us we will go to leelammas house during quarterly holidays to see you. I was impatiently waiting for that moment. You understood my feeling so well even at that time, hee hee you made us come rushing to you thanks to Skylab episode. We rushed to Chennai ,so we can be together as a family even if something bad happened due to Skylab.  So we called you a Skylab baby.

 When I saw you for the first time, a special bond was formed right then, right there. You had a shiny glass head (little or no  hair unlike most girl babies in our family) with big eyes. Now when I see you drying your long beautiful hair only that glass head comes to my mind.  I begged chitha to put you down on my lap. She did courageously after all I am her first love right? I kept caressing your soft, hairless head for a long time. That was the best week of my life spending every minute with you.

 Even the sheer thought of Chitha and you coming back to our town thrilled me.  You were the soft girl that everybody adored. When I see the softness in NR, I remember you in him. I fed you(your evening snack milk bikis whenever chitha allowed me), I sang to you and entertained you. I used to run to your house during my lunch breaks just to get a glimpse of you. Thank god , Chitha and Chithappa lived closer to my school.

 I remember the morning breeze, the songs from Murugan temple on our way to central bus stand  with so much of excitement in our heart to meet and greet you in the wee hours of the morning. We got the news that you started walking when you were Chennai for a short family visit with Chitha.  I and S akka did not get a wink of sleep the previous night. We were so excited to see you. So we got up early around 4.00am took bath and ventured alone bringing Kamala along with us (hope you remember our neighbor) to central bus stand. I have no idea why my mom allowed us , a thirteen and 8 year old girls accompanied by their 12 year old friend to go alone. Though it’s scary to think of it now, it reminds me of the good old days where you let your kids go every where freely without fear unlike now. And we were used to going to school by ourselves so we went happily. We scanned every passenger getting down from Chennai bus for more than an hour and we did not see you or Chitha getting down from any of the bus. Chitha and Chithappa decided to get down somewhere else but that long walk back home without you was history. We were so sad we didn’t even talk to each other. We returned home with a heavy heart and there you were taking your baby steps on our dining table. You tiny feet adorned with kolusu and the sound it made still bring such joy to my heart. Not even NR’s first steps excited me like that.

 Then you became my shadow following me everywhere like a little puppy. You were a ribbon monster. You stayed with us during weekends. Every Monday we will be searching frantically for the all the black ribbons to wear it to school required by school rules but with vain. Kamala always came to our rescue and we ended up borrowing her black ribbons to school. You owe a big time to Kamala : ).  Following Tuesday or Wednesday we will discover all our black ribbons either tied to towel hidden under the bed or in some random hand bags (you used towel as your false hair and tied plaits using black ribbons and called it your “ chathai (aka Jadai ) or ribbon were tied around books as gift wrappers. I lost my stamp album for almost 6 or seven months and found it with couple of my black ribbon tied to it under pile of books. I still wonder how you managed to hide it there under a heavy stack of books collecting dust. I really wished we had taken a photo of you in your infamous “Chathai” or your Buddha bikshu (monk) costume aka beach towel costume.  We forgot to take a second set of clothes for you during our Marina beach visit and you came home with that costume in the city bus. I love  our family photo with your sweet diana cut hair style ( you were in 4th or 5th grade) and I was wearing a silk saree for the first time .

I am happy that you are the same old loving and affectionate little sister with whom I can share anything and everything. You were my rock during my courtship days . I couldn’t have asked for a best friend like you. Small thoughtful stuff you did for me when I was so scared of unknowns at that time. You made me feel relaxed and happy like playing our fav song in the tape recorder whenever you came to our home from school. 

CB did everything under his sleeve to convince our family which meant taking tuitions for you and S bro so he can come and meet you guys everyday. You and S bro started calling him “Master” and continues to call him so even after 19 years.  He became your best big brother too.

You have a special place in our heart and now very special place in NR’s heart. You rightly call him your son and get so angry at me even if I complain about him a bit. I am at peace knowing that my sister is there to love my son more than me. I felt so happy yesterday, when I you said that you waited so many years to receive a card from your niece ornephew and how grateful we should be for having NR in our lives. I am happy that he brings such joy in your heart like you did for me.

The special prayer from CB’s household is to send a thoughtful, simple, loving person as your partner who is going to respect, love and cherish you like we do. I am praying to god everyday to send that special guy to our family soon. More things are wrought by prayer than this world dream of.

Happy birthday kuttima . Hope this year makes your entire dream come true. Hugs and sweet kisses from us all.  

Love you

C akka.