Last week we celebrated our 14th anniversary. It’s been 19 years since we fell in love. I met him in my graduate school a month after I turned 20. He was a year older than me like most of my school/class mates.
After my UG, I applied for graduate degree only in two colleges in Chennai. One for pursuing M.S in Nuclear physics at Madras University. I had good time during my UG and did not devote my 100% time and focus on studies . Though I secured very good grades , I didn't even think about 90 % or above needed for my FC status for PG admission. I definitely would have got admission if I listened to my periyappa who had lot of political connections and was pressuring me to accept his help. Then my life would have taken a different route .
I applied for M.S in Forensic Science. Prof. P. Chandrasekaran who handled Rajiv Gandhi’s case was heading Tamil Nadu Forensic Science department at that time. I was interested in Ballistics major. I had an interview at the Forensic science department at IG's office which had three rounds, first one on physics/chemistry/maths , second on personality/politics/general Knowledge and third was on International sports. I never realised that interview will have sports questions. I flunked miserably in my third round. Thank god for that. What was I thinking at that time to pursue a profession which dealt with crime scenes? May be , I was influenced by Famous Five, Nancy Drew, Sherlock Holmes and all the Muthu comics heroes I read as a kid. Everything happens for a reason and for the best.
By the time I came back to my hometown it was too late to apply in the local college. It's a conservative college which imposed unrealistic dress code . Only half saree and sarees were allowed (Sigh, somebody from the college committe should do a google search for half saree). I chose not to study there even for my UG. Even the thought of attending that college depressed me
Meanwhile family and friends insisted that I join some other course. My plan was to get into some course for time being and try for Nuclear physics once again next year. I applied for Business administration course in a well reputed college. It’s Roman Catholic college and only graduate courses had co-ed. Only Roman Catholic girls were given admission for science and arts majors’ exception being the management course. The course had started already but I met the principal in person. I promised him and my HOD that I will do well. I got the admission form three weeks after the course started. I could not believe my luck. It was meant to be.
CB did his UG (CS) in that college but due to personal situation he didn’t apply for his MS (CS) on time. His father was battling with kidney disease and he was running around between Vellore and our native town. He came back and joined my course three weeks after me. We had trimester system which meant 12 weeks for each subject. I missed three and he missed 6 weeks. There were only three girls in my course, two were PG graduates from my old college. I felt so uneasy and out of place with all the attentions I got from guys. I would do a mad rush to the bus stop once my classes ended trying to avoid conversation with guys.
CB became a good friend. We had one topic in common -“kidney disease”. My mom had led a healthy life surviving with just one kidney for 15+ plus years at that time. I really felt sorry for him going thru so much at that time. But he had big plan. Later on he told me that when he met me for the first time he knew that I am his wife. Well, I never knew that at least in the beginning. He did n’t wait too long to confess his love for me. The more I knew him the more I liked him. He was such a soft gentle soul and he was madly in love with me. My entire extended family used to call him “guna kamal”. He was that crazy.
His dad died at the very young age of 52, two years after we met. I met his dad many times in his house. I felt that he knew about our relationship. He was a great cook and made delicious fish fry. He used to discuss about his trip to “sabrimala” as a devotee. He pointed out to the “Geethopadesham” wall hanging on the walls. His conversation always made me feel very comfortable and assured me that I was warmly welcomed in their family.
Taking a management course and meeting CB changed course of my life. I kept my end of promise to the principal. I was a rank holder from my batch. He remembered me well during the award ceremony on our college annual day. I never wanted to pursue physics after that. CB went on to do his graduate course in CS. I took up computer course at reputed university in Chennai and got the job immediately. I completed my second master while working in Chennai. Most of CB’s classmates left for US on work visa a year after graduating from MS while he stayed back to pursue his professional life in Chennai.
With blessings from god and parents/entire extended family we got married after 5 years of courtship. Our wedding was the grandest wedding in my family. The soft natured girl who never did anything against her parent's wish , stood strong for her love .We got married young and CB was the first one to get married among his group of college friends. . Who knew that the girl who regularly had vibhuthi on her forehead and said shastikavsam everyday would get married to a Roman catholic? It was her destiny.
Last 19 years we both worked very hard to achieve our dreams (personal/professional) as a couple leading a disciplined, relaxed and loving life. In that process we never ever left the values and morals we cherished. We crossed every mountain of struggle holding our hands together with great deal of respect and love for each other. Life would have been much easier if we got financial/emotional help from our parents. We never consulted our parents when we fell in love so we chose to face everything in our life by ourselves. In that process we’ve grown stronger emotionally, spiritually as a couple.
I strongly believe in destiny. Do you? We are sent to this earth with a master plan. Everything goes according to that plan. I remember this every time I face a crisis in my life. This brings peace to my thoughts and gives me strength . People, who don’t believe that, are the people who spend their life time thinking they are in control of their life and destiny.
