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Amazing Invention

EAT,PRAY,LOVE - It was just EAT Alone

I've wanted to see the movie after watching the preview on FIOS. Ideally I want to watch this movie with group of girl friends.  Lot of my friends have moved or married or had first/second baby. These days it's too difficult even to schedule something. When schedule works out one of the kids will fall sick or something else will happen.

I've accepted the fact I can no longer rely on  my girl friend's company .I've made myself comfortable going to the theater alone. But I haven't gone to theater since NR's birth. I wanted to go for Avatar but it never worked out. CB knew I was eager to watch this movie, he persuaded me to go for the movie.  I decided to go for the movie last Wednesday for 7.20pm show. NR skipped his nap so that day's schedule got completely messed up. By time I finished making dinner for us and him, it was already 7.20pm. I could not go that day.

Last Saturday NR decided to play all day and skip his nap. CB urged me to go the movie in the evening when they went for their usual evening routine.  I took shower and hopped to the movie theater. I reached the theater just on time. I got my chai latte and walked to the room airing EAT, PRAY and LOVE.

The theater was not crowded but all the good seats had been taken. I always sit at the top row and found couple of seats empty between two set of people. I chose to sit next to two old women. I got seated comfortably and took first sip of my chai latte. It was horrible (reminder to myself  - Never buy chai latte from Regal cinema halls). The old woman next to me smiled and said “Just in time ha”. I said yes and told her that I am coming to the theater after 3 yrs.

The movie started around 7.30pm or so. We hardly watched the movie for 20 – 30 minutes suddenly the firm alarm light started flashing. They stopped the movie. We sat there for ten minutes and one women audience was kind enough to check the status and informed the audience about fire alarm. Then a staff came and asked us to go the parking lot at the west side of the theater.

Audiences from all the theaters got evacuated and assembled near the entrance. It was little quiet and chaotic at times. My new friends aged 68 and 77 started talking to me. They asked about my son and showed them his picture from my cell phone. We continued to talk for next 20 minutes.

The theater staff issued pass to watch the movie again. This pass is valid for next one year. They also gave option to watch the movie once the fire department left the venue. But they were not sure when the Fire department would finish checking issue. This false fire alarm had happened thrice this week so the staffs were familiar with the drill.

Three of us decided to get back home but when I reached my car, I saw the crowd going back to the theater. I ran to my new friends and gave the news. We decided to watch the movie again.  We went in and continued our conversation. They gave their email and address. The older woman has a house in the country side (which is just 15 minutes from my house; ) and invited me to bring NR to her home .  

Everybody clapped when the movie started. Just ten minutes into the movie, the fire alarm started flashing again. This time the staff came and announced that this was yet another false alarm so they will start the movie again. Just when he finished announcing, we all heard his supervisor informing him to evacuate the audience.

The older woman jokingly asked the staff (in his teens) to issue another ticket. Her friend silenced her and said we will get another one on the way. I really felt as if I am with my college friends. These two retired women were so much fun . While exiting older of the two went and got second pass. The theater management never checked the tickets and was happy to distribute as many requested .   She got one for me. I felt little shy to accept it but I was not able to say “NO” to two friendly souls.

While walking to the parking lot they both said it was meant for three of us to meet. I nodded my head. The same thought flashed in my mind few sec before.

The Movie god was not happy with me this time. I watched only the “EAT” part of the movie(EAT,PRAY,LOVE) but I got two more tickets. I enjoyed my evening with my new friends.  That evening was meant for a three people to meet and say hello. I could not believe all the drama that happened this Saturday including me spotting my husband and son in our SUV at the signal.  We waved at each other. I felt little guilty for going to the theater alone leaving them behind.

My son got his wish too. I got back home, right in time for his bed after shopping for groceries at Safeway.

Maiden Truck Travel

My first home in US was in central US   a tornado prone zone. We lived there for 5 months  without any desi neighbours .

We never had a car for first two months .CB never bothered to get driving license though he was in the country for more than 8 months before me. The city  had a huge snowstorm  few months after my arrival and dumped around 4 feet of snow .

I still remember the day, Me and CB  holding hands together and taking one step at a time in the street filled with knee-high snow to get the grocers. It took us more than 30 minutes to reach the grocery shop just across our apartment. It was the most romantic walk ever.

CB bought our first car from his colleague,  then went on to get his driver license. You might think what 's big deal right?. The deal was one of his colleagues drove the car to our apartment and parked it in our garage : ). I had never heard of any one  getting a car before getting a driver's license other than my dear silly husband .

In Kansas one need to attend driving classes(theory) to get  drivers license . CB took weekend  classes. He usually returns home by 7 or 7.30pm. He travelled by yellow cab. One sunday evening , he did not return home till 10.30pm. He never had cell phone at that time . I was getting paranoid as the hours passed from 7.30pm. I never knew any one in the city and I was not even familiar with the neighbourhood. I don't even know what to do or whom to call . I called his close friend frantically . His childhood friend lived in Denver , Colorado(in a different state than us) hundreds of miles away from us.  He asked me to wait for another hour and  then call 911. Every minute went like a decade.

After 45 minutes around 11.00pm CB did a grand entry in a huge 18 wheeler truck along with african american girl.  Since my apt was on the other side, I wasn't lucky enough to view his grand entrance. She was a co student in the driving class and she also used yellow cab to commute to class. Unfortunately that day the public phone in the building did n't work and these two were not able to call a cab. She was smart enough to stop the trucker to get a ride and helped CB come home. Writing this blog,  I realise  may be she was a hooker who is so used to stopping the truckers : ).

Even now CB seldom answers his cell phone . If I had to sight  reasons for a divorce, this would be at the top of my list :).

CB who works in the emerging technology field but seldom uses the technology in his personal life.  I 've married a cave man.

Sometimes we become god’s messenger

I went to temple yesterday evening and met a young couple. I almost cancelled my visit since NR decided to skip his afternoon nap and make it an evening nap. The girl distributed bangles to the women at the temple. I asked the reason and she told me that they are trying for a baby. I started to talk to her and found out that they were not successful with IUI and IVF. She was in tears and I just wanted to hug her.

 I live in a country where I hear/read on daily basis about women killing their newborns and wonder why do they deserve such a gift in their life while there are millions of loving affectionate couples wanting and praying for a miracle in their life. Life is not fair sometimes.

 I shared my experience and told her to stay positive and never give up hope. Miracles do happen. It happened to me. We both talked for more than half an hour. I could feel a renewed hope in their eyes. They were nice and friendly couple. I prayed for them and blessed them to have their wish come true soon.

If I’d gone early to temple as scheduled, I would have missed meeting them. Yesterday god made me, his messenger to give them hope right at the temple. May be that’s a sign for them.  I really felt blessed for being his messenger.

Whenever strangers makes me feel good by their words or action when I am down or worried about something,  I know god is talking to me through them.  God talks to us thru people around us .

In our daily night prayer, NR and I prayed for that Athai and Mama to get a special gift soon, a cute baby like NR. My ammuma used to say that god listens to kids more than adults. NR is my sweet little prayer buddy : ).

American Desi family Vs Indian Desi family

21st Century Desi Family in US	21st Century Desi family in India
Celebrates all Indian festival including Rakhi /holi even if they are South Indian  adhering to typical Indian standards	Attends Valentines day, Mothers day , fathers day , Halloween parties leaving kids with their nanny (“ayah”)
Gets meager two or three weeks vacation time and working women gets meager 8 or 12 weeks maternity leave	Gets at least 6 weeks vacation other than EL,CL or SL. Women working for government gets a year of maternity leave
Most women chose to stay at home after kids so kids can have indian lifestyles specially food .	Have the freedom and choice to get back to work even after the third baby thanks to generous maternity leave and abundance of nannies or domestic help
Majority of Desi kids attends public school	Majority of kids in India from all income levels attends private school .
Children learn classical Indian dance, music. They perform in temple and in all desi gatherings just like our grandmother’s time	Kids take Piano. Salsa, fencing, swimming classes. They perform in TV shows and win high cash prizes like houses which only their parents can dream of.
Desi kids are into Indian music specially Bangra, bharathanatyam etc. I haven't seen any teenagers aha ooohing about Justin bieber yet.	Majority of the kids are familiar /fans the western music/artists.
Vacations are strictly spent with family back in India(Guilt takes over common sense)	Vacations in exotic places within India, Asia or if money is abundant , then Europe or Americas.
Furnishes the yearly wardrobe during their India trip(Men gets yearly wardrobe as gift thanks to his wife parents, sisters , cousins and brothers)	Buys American /European designer wear in India or in Europe/American designer stores during their exotic vacation.
Drive his/her own car everywhere at all times including driving oneself to hospital while in labor.	Have cars driven by Drivers. Those drives also come in handy to carry all the stuff bought from stores. (Before coming to US lot of  people on the left column also enjoyed this luxury)
Buys a home which is bit more than their annual household income.	Buys a home for which the mortgage  needs to be paid not only them and by their kids too.
Real estate prices affordable by most families. Home sqft averages at least twice their parent’s homes.	Some Indian city real estate prices are higher than Newyork(factor for Economic growth). Average home sqft is ¼ of their parent’s home.
In spite of earning a six figure US salaries, both men and women does all the chores in the house.	Have maids  for every chore in the house
Mows the lawn, does the weekly weeding even if the house is on a one acre lot.	Have a gardener to water even the few plants in a planter
Has one or two credit cards	Wallet is filled with credit cards
Plans every bit of their life including retirement and death (Can’t borrow money from parents, uncles or aunts in case of emergency. Even wealthy parents can’t send money in case of emergency so careful planning in every step)	Present generation live American life. They live pay check to pay check. Most  money is spend on life style choices and mortgage.
Hunts for deals on electronics	Pays double or thrice the price just to have the latest gadgets
Has the risk of no medical coverage if they lose their jobs	Majority of them can afford care in best hospital in the city
Has identity crisis during the teenage years. No wonder they are called ABCD	They even know what they want to be when they in middle school. Most of them aspire to be Bill Gates or Warren Buffett

 There are some extraordinary Desi families (super families as in super man)with pioneering spirit who grows their own vegetable, sew their own clothes, make paper, remodel their homes and even raise chickens in urban sprawl.

I came up with this list within five minutes time(took forever to type and edit it) .Yes. you guessed it right. I had a busy day with unending house hold chores and being a slave to a two year old.

Dear Readers going through my list would clearly give you an idea about where the real development is  right? So next time when you start pointing fingers at  US desis for not paying taxes or being unpatriotic , HAVE MERCY. We are already leading a life style two generation behind yours (like your grandparent's generation).

 

Of Bloody Mary and Margaritas

During summer of 1999, I was returning to US from my six months vacation back home.I was travelling thru Singapore airlines via Singapore from Chennai.

 Majority of the Economy class travelers from Chennai to Singapore usually are people from rural areas of south India working in Singapore. It’s entertaining to watch their behavior in the flight.I have seen some of the merchants from Tamil Nadu mostly Muslim folks bringing “Briyani” with them. They sat together and ate Briyani as if they are on a bus/train just few minutes after the flight takes off.  The rural guys pestered the flight attendant for alcohol/drinks the moment they board the flight.

 I had a difficult time with one such guy who sat next to me. I was on aisle seat and he on the window seat.  He was this huge guy who kept drinking free alcohol glass after glass and dozed off to sleep. He was snoring like a dog and falling on my shoulders. I was such a soft naïve girl at that time, I didn’t even complain about this guy to the flight attendant. I never closed my eyes fearing some bad behavior from this guy. I almost applauded when the captain announced that we are about to land in Singapore.

 The next leg of journey from Singapore to Hong Kong was eventless. A good-looking Delhi girl boarded the flight in Hong Kong and seated next to me.  I was kind of relieved to have female co passenger for next stretch of long flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco. But I was too quick to judge her since she had such an attitude right from the start. She refused to speak to me, even when she spoke she had such arrogance in her tone. I am known for my patience but one thing which totally gets me is the egoistic and arrogant behavior of some annoying people. I refused to tolerate such people at any point in my life.

 Just an hour into the flight the delhi socialite (so-she-is-lowlife) started ordering drinks. I had little or no knowledge about type of alcohol drinks or name of the drinks at that time. She started ordering drinks like “Blood Mary” .For a catholic convent educated girl it was rather shocking/uneasy to hear such name. Next came Margaritas. The only Margarita I’ve known at that time was my school senior (my sister’s classmate). Madam happily drank all the free alcohol to her heart’s content (or should I say till she blacked out). I have my seen female colleagues drink at office party but this was my first encounter with a hard-core female drunkard. I refused to sleep this time fearing that she might throw up any time. I had to push her head from shoulders for a long 9 hours. She made the previous drunken male passenger look  like an angel . 

 When she woke up she spoke sporadically. She enquired my background and my destination city etc. I did the same and found that she was visiting her sister’s family in SFO for the first time. She openly expressed her disgust about other passengers and wondering their purpose of visit to US. One such passenger was an tamil woman wearing a Kandangi sari..

 The old woman kept talking loudly (her natural voice) to a girl she befriended on the flight. She spoke like any typical innocent village women but I could sense her courage .Her dress explained her humble background. From her conversation I came to know that she is visiting her son and this is her first time visit to  USA. I could not stop wondering how much hard she would have worked in her life to educate her son. She should have saved all those tiny change in her “Anjarai petti (grocery bin), for her son to get an education that too an education which landed him in USA. To me ,her mere journey to US was a success story of a mother who did everything in her power to give a good future to her son thru education.

Well my Delhi socialite thought otherwise. She spoke and looked at that old woman like an outcast. She went back to her routine of eating and drinking more alcohol and slept happily . While she slept the flight attendant distributed the immigration forms.

 The old woman got the form and enquired about it to the tamil girl sitting next to her. She got the help of her co passenger and filled the form ASAP. She had all the information needed to fill up the form. She did that effortlessly like a frequent flier. Even when I travelled for the first time to US, I had to get the form second time since I made some mistake. Her life experiences were far more superior to my academic knowledge. I realised she would have tackled other difficult situations in her life with such ease and common sense.

 An hour before the flight was about to land in SFO, the delhi girl got up from her sleep. She looked around and saw many passengers filling up the immigration forms. She asked me about it and I directed her to the flight attendant. When she started filling her form , she went into a panic mode. She did not have her sister’s address but only phone number. She cursed her sister for not informing about this in advance. I was wondering which idiot would travel around the world without a destination address in hand. She was a nervous wreck. I suggested that she make a phone call to her sister from airport phone and get the address else she will not clear the immigration.

 When we disembarked the flight I rushed to get my luggage since I had to catch my flight to Portland Oregon in an hour’s time. The old woman stood in the same line with me ( I didn’t  have my green card at that time) and cleared the immigration quickly. She spotted her son standing upstairs behind a glass wall and waved at him with such joy. I cannot forget that moment.

 I did not see the Delhi girl at all in that 30 minutes we stood in the immigration line. Probably she was trying to figure out how to use the US public phones to make a call to her sister.  

 

The story of IPAD ownership

My husband is a book freak –that too a  tech book freak. Gifting means only one choice that is anything and everything to do with books (I also include boxers, soaps, perfumes which he refuses to buy for himself).  I used to give him special watches as gift which he wears once or twice Last couple of years I refused to budge in with his request of books on his wish list.  I am really tired of giving him gift certificates and books.

 CB is least interested in gadgets unlike typical guys exception being his crazy love for high-speed bikes. He would always ask me if he could take me for a bike ride after our wedding. Well, I never allowed him to get a bike during our first year we spent in India.

I wanted to give him a bike for his 40^th birthday this year. I  came up with gift idea when we celebrated his 30th birthday.  Just two weeks before his birthday, I changed my mind thanks to a sensible friend (designated secret shopper for the bike). It rains almost 9 months in a year and we need to pay monthly insurance which is a waste of money if he is not going to use the bike regularly.   Moreover there is absolutely no space in our garage to park the bike. I talked myself out of buying the bike reminding myself about my SAHM status for last 2.5 yrs.

 CB takes his books everywhere I mean even to the Salon. Last Christmas I decided to give him a book reader – Kindle. I had an ulterior motive too - to save our office room from books invading every available space. While researching KINDLE, I came upon IPAD . It was way too cool compared to KINDLE. I decided to wait and get IPAD for his special birthday this year.

 In order to get him interested in IPAD, I started the “IPAD glorification “campaign. Daily or regularly I would praise about the features of IPAD and compare it with other similar gadgets in the marketplace. But he never showed any interest. I told my plan , when I decided to pre-order IPAD. He argued that he won’t use it . I know he will not even bother to open the package. It has happened way too many times in the last 14 years. I always ended up using all the cool gadgets I gift him. I decided not buy it for practical reasons. I don’t want to waste money on something he is not going to use or enjoy.  I don’t want to end up using it since I bought a VAIO laptop for my self in 2008.

 To my surprise, I got an early birthday gift - IPAD from CB. He thought I loved IPAD  thanks to my IPAD glorification campaign. I loved it but I could have used that money for other high priority items on my list. It's not in my "need list" but in "cool to have list".  I can check recipes, read while cooking, check mails,check FB and carry it around the house just like a book.

I have downloaded couple of cool apps for NR and the little guy started monopolizing IPAD usage.  I used to gripe about this to CB .

 Last Thursday CB surprised us with a second IPAD. CB received an IPAD as a gift from his clients for a project he worked on last April. He said his son is the lucky to get an IPAD ,which unofficially is going to be mine. And I am  planning to sell mine on eBay amidst my husband protests.

 Last Christmas he received a watch as Christmas gift from his clients. He told me about the watch but never bothered to bring it home. When I pestered him to bring the watch home after three or 4 weeks he brought it home. With just the first glance at the watch box, I knew it’s a pricey watch. Immediately I researched the brand on the net and found the price.

 Without telling him the price, I asked CB to take a guess about the price of this watch. He said may be 20 -30 dollars. Well, how does a guy, who never wears a watch will know the worth of a masterpiece?. He never buys any pricey stuff for himself (well he never buys anything for himself for that matter) , but he is always lucky to receive it from others( especially his wife).

When I showed him the price on the net, he was surprised . He said the watch box has been lying on the desk ever since he received it. I am glad that I got curious about this watch. Else he would have given it to one of the carpenters/maistry/drivers  who worked for his father during our next India trip. NR will receive this signed watch(signed by his fav person aka appa) when he graduates from high school.

 Moral of the story:

1. People receive/get things when they show little or no interests in it.

2. I haven't changed a bit. I listen to good advise from friends and family every single time . I cancelled my plan of ten years with just 15 minutes advise from a friend.

3. I need to make NR buy his own undies starting at an early age. (Whats up with Indian guys waiting for their mother or wife to get their undies ? . At least,  this is true for every single male members of my family ).